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Title: He acts like nothing happened Post by: Coldfish on September 15, 2019, 03:54:55 PM So I triggered my ex boyfriend and he retaliated by hurting me. He took things to a whole new level which I feel was over the top. Anyways I walked away. I didn’t argue, respond, ect. After he chased me for a response, I still kept my silence. It had been six weeks. Now about three weeks ago he reached out to me as if nothing had happened between us. I really didn’t know what to say so I took a day to respond and I figured I would wait until early morning when I knew he would be sleep. He had asked how has I been as if we were on good terms. When I finally responded I just said I am going to school full time. He text me back immediately like five minutes later saying “cool. “ I left it at that and just went on with my life. That was three weeks ago. I know he will reach out again so I have been thinking about things. I am definitely not reaching out to him because he acted so horribly. No way I am chasing him. I guess my question is why would he act like nothing has happened? I know he is sending out feelers to see if I am still upset. I know he misses me but so what. Not sure when we talk if I should bring this up. He did it to teach me a lesson. However crappy that sounds it’s the truth. Message received.
Title: Re: He acts like nothing happened Post by: Ozzie101 on September 16, 2019, 08:36:47 AM There could be different scenarios for why he's acting like nothing has happened.
I know in my experience, there were things my H genuinely did not remember saying or doing. (Fortunately for me, he does believe me when I tell him what he said.) My therapist and his said that's not uncommon in trauma victims -- for them to go into a rage and then completely black it out. There's some question as to whether my H has PTSD, BPD or both. But, anyway, "black outs" are not unheard of. That said, H was generally aware that he had done or said something. He just couldn't remember details. On the other hand, your ex may just be minimizing or avoiding facing what happened. For pwBPD, the sense of shame tends to be extremely acute and it's not uncommon for them to avoid, project or otherwise perform feats of emotional/mental gymnastics to get away from the shame. |