BPDFamily.com

As a man, not trying to be gender biased. Were you ever told by your bpd wife that you should not have a job? My ex always tried to find a way to sabotage my employment throughout our marriage. Wanting me to quit and come home. When she got a job finally she refused to pay for someone to watch our son so I could go back to work. I've read about this with men keeping their wives at home and not allowing them to work. It's actually listed as a recognized form of domestic violence by the National DV hotline. Any other men experience this besides me?

I would think that's probably a more common behavior by controlling men.  I'm female and was the primary breadwinner so I absolutely have to work.  I would also be bored out of my mind without a job.

Well that's the thing. I was not allowed to have anything nicer than her also. From a cell phone to a car. Nothing could be newer, nicer or better than what she had.

 :hi:


Not told no, but my ex would sabotage my alarm clock so I would not wake up thus incurring the sack. Other times she convinced me to leave work because we didn't need the money. Lots of times she would convince me to have days off because she was "ill" or struggling with the kids she had contraceptives removed without telling me to have.

LT.

My exhusband was very tit for tat.  If you buy this for yourself, then I get to buy something comparable or better.  It was super dysfunctional and eventually I stopped buying anything and he would bring up the past to justify his behavior. Like years past.  My most recent ex was not at all materialistic and I made quite a bit more than him.  I think it made him feel inadequate and he would try to control who I went out with as friends, I was always pressured to check in often.  I am pretty secure with myself, but his insecurity eventually drove us apart.