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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: ColdKnight on September 30, 2019, 12:35:24 AM



Title: 7 weeks. Sometimes I still miss her like it was day one...
Post by: ColdKnight on September 30, 2019, 12:35:24 AM
Mod note: This is a continuation of the following thread: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339370.0

7 weeks. Sometimes I still miss her like it was day one...


Title: Re: Four weeks of NC today...
Post by: Pytagoras on September 30, 2019, 05:08:05 AM
7 weeks is great!

Do you miss her less frequently?

Me, every day is a new theme: one day i think all day of her cheating, other day i think of particular good times we had, another day i think about, another day i just miss her, another day i feel guilty (what if i had done this or this), and another day i feel angry for what she did...  i think each day i grieve a different thing.


Title: Re: Four weeks of NC today...
Post by: ColdKnight on September 30, 2019, 11:39:09 AM
Yea that describes it pretty well.

Sometimes I have this anxiety that comes on very strong at odd times and I don’t know what triggers it.

I describe it as the “excitement” that I felt as a kid the night before Christmas Day. It’s not a bad feeling necessarily. Just this intense feeling that something is going to “happen”.


Title: Re: 7 weeks. Sometimes I still miss her like it was day one...
Post by: Lucky Jim on September 30, 2019, 02:03:01 PM
Excerpt
Sometimes I have this anxiety that comes on very strong at odd times and I don’t know what triggers it.

Hey CK, I know the feeling.  When I first separated from my BPDxW, I kept expecting the other shoe to drop.  As you describe, it was this feeling of expectancy, as if something was about to happen.  In my case, I suspect it was a carryover from the daily vigilance required in a BPD r/s.  My body was unused to living without that constant pressure!

In the big picture, seven weeks is a relatively short period of time, so be patient with yourself and stay the course.

LuckyJim


Title: Re: 7 weeks. Sometimes I still miss her like it was day one...
Post by: gizmocasci on October 01, 2019, 06:43:01 PM
Mod note: This is a continuation of the following thread: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339370.0

7 weeks. Sometimes I still miss her like it was day one...

i think it'll be 8 for me this coming friday, but i'm beginning to lose track. even though we dated for only 8 months, man did she leave a mark. i find myself longing for her some days, wanting to reach out, but i keep reminding myself of the harsh words she sliced me with. she was two different people. i was falling for the person that she wasn't. these past couple of days have been rough. saturday i had an amazing day out by myself, hiking. i felt so aligned! sunday i worked and was around a close friend. yesterday i found myself sitting on my front steps crying. today sad emotions have popped up again. i'm just sitting with all of them now. i turned away from substances this time around, to let all the feelings flush through. seems like we are on a pretty similar trajectory. keep at it! i am, and i know you will too.


Title: Re: 7 weeks. Sometimes I still miss her like it was day one...
Post by: clvrnn on October 02, 2019, 02:32:00 AM
7 weeks must have felt like it took a while to get to, but please don't feel that you shouldn't be feeling a certain way... it's still a relatively short time frame and you're allowed to feel everything..