BPDFamily.com

I really want to help my BPD Daughter find the path to success.  Has anyone found a program that helps mentor adults with a PD?  I don't know if I could convince her to go to a medical professional, but may be able to suggest that she reach out to someone (that isn't me) to help her find the right track.  She isn't going to heed any advice that I may offer.  In fact, she would probably take the exact opposite course.  That isn't just because of her BPD pattern, it is also human nature to not listen to your parents.  I have been searching for vocational rehab programs but coming up empty.  Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

DadFLA,
I know that Vocational services like the Ticket to Work program exists for those on Disability. It seems Life Skills courses are typically designed for those with Intellectual Disabilities.

PWBPD have stunted maturity from what I read, similar to those struggling with addiction during the teenage and young adult years. How do they catch up? My guess is this duty falls to the parents to try to reteach basic life skills that we assumed they got the first time around.

Hoping others will respond here with some thoughts or experience in this area. There is a whole section in “Loving someone w/BPD” about Apparent Competence. She explains that many times we simply assume our pwBPD can do certain things based on their age, education, general demeanor, etc, but the actually do not know how.  It’s unsettling to see this firsthand.

What life skills would you hope to see your DD learn?

Our DD is 31 with a 2 YO son.  I would love for her to be able to set goals, get a steady job and be able to take care of her son.  IQ is definitely not her issue, it is her emotional intelligence and stunted maturity.  But, I know she can be successful with the proper guidance and focus.  I truly believe that if she were to focus on going after some goals it would improve her overall self-worth and give her less to focus on partying.  Perhaps, I am naive.  Also, part of this is selfish because my wife and I do not want to be full-time caretakers.  But, I feel that we are worthy of having our own lives, as well.  I have spent the past few months removing the barriers of getting our daughter her Birth certificate, SS Card and State ID.

You should not feel bad about wanting her to be self sufficient. Nothing about that is selfish on your part. Since she has no learning disability, my thought is DBT skills and some type of specific job training might be best. Until they get the DBT skills, they simply can’t cope with stress in the job. Most have a pattern of losing job after job.

There is a DBT workbook that some here have ordered and encouraged their pwBPD to go thru. Others here have payed for specific vocational training and purchased essential supplies to get their pwBPD started in a job.

I have one friend who is 40 w/BPD. She is an award winning author and she says having that profession has changed her life to the core. She believes having meaningful work is critical for healing BPD.

Maybe you can put together a few viable options and see if DD is willing to give this a try.