BPDFamily.com

Hi everybody,

First, I would like to apologize for my English but I'm French speaker.
Then, I want to say thank you to everyone on this website because I got many answers.
But I'm still in the fog.
I will tell my story in a short way.

I've met this woman, crush when I lay my eyes on her.
We spend a fabulous week together, with many words and many feelings and stuff like this.
After one week, she started to cancelled our meetings (6 in total) and I accepted because I was patient. But still in contact (video call, messages,...).
2 weeks later, I felt her distant. I asked her if she's ok and she started to tell me she's freeky for many people, that the other guys didn't want accept her way of life,... Well, but she never told me that she's BPD. She just gave me some clues. That's it.
But during 1 month (without meet her anymore), we just exchanged some messages. She never wanted to call me anymore. And 10 days before the incident, she told me she will come back from somewhere with answers for me.
During these 10 days, I continue to tell her how much I miss her, and how much I have feelings for her.

At the end, I asked her to make a choice:
-  she call me just to have a brief conversation (not to tell me what's happen),
- or we cut the line.

She blamed me and she told me that she can not be with someone like this, so pushy, someone whom can't respect her bounderies, etc...

Well, I was upset but she didn't respect my bounderies and I told her how she disrespected me during 1 month.
Her answer for that was : You disrespected yourself.

After that, I cut the line during 1 week. After 1 week, I ask her how does she feel. Then, she ghosted me (whatsapp, instagram,etc).
Ok, I had to accept that but the same week, I was telling my story to my friend (he's psychiatrist), and he asked me to read the messages and to explain all the story.
He said that she's maybe  BPD. Runaway. Don't follow her. Just runaway.

I sent her a message (from my other number) to tell her that I know she's maybe borderline and now I understand everything and I apologized, and she read the message and kept me all day long. The following morning, I was block again on whatsapp and imessage (it's important to understand where I want to go).

One week later, I send her an email (it was funny for me to receive the email address from a girl after 2 days dating her, and she said "in case" if you loose my number).
I supposed, after reading many papers on BPD, it was calculated (like the fake instagram profil invitation one week after meeting her, and I delete from my followers but this profile continued to read my stories. Was funny).
Well, the email. This email to explain again my feelings and that I want to take care of her and if from the begginign I had to make a choice for her illness, I would say yes, I follow you.
After that, she unlocked me on imessage. She receive again my messages. My encouragement, nd every day during 2 weeks, she read my messages but without answers.
So now, what's happen? I don't know if I can expect something from her again.
I told her in one of my last message that I cannot continue sending messages like this and I need to move on.
But I miss her, so 4 days later I sent her again another message to tell her that my door is still open if she wants to share.

My questions :
- Did I make wrong?
- What does it mean reading messages but never answer?
- Her feelings for me were true?
- What can I expect now?
- Does she will come back?
I need some answers, I still miss her but I know that maybe I need to heel and to move on maybe.

Thank you for your answers and support.

And I want just to add how is important for me. I have no difficulty to be with someone. But after dating during 4 years (After a 9 year's relationship and every week-end a new woman), I stopped because I wanted to find the right one. And I know that's crazy, but I felt in love from the first sight (I think in english we say like that). So it's very important for me to understand and see if I can do something to make it work again.