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Title: Lost in translation Post by: Adicreed on October 09, 2019, 03:47:01 PM I really don't know what to say. We got married in April of 2017, she has 2 children from a previous marriage. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I know I should have empathy and/or sympathy for her, but it's too hard to have those things for someone who is constantly complaining about what you're doing wrong, especially when, in my eyes, I haven't done a damn thing wrong. I'm withdrawing from her and from the girls. She's noticed and accuses me of being on my phone too much or not wanting to do bedtime with the kids. But she's the one always hurting and I'm apparently to selfish to care about her. I am so angry. I'm in the middle of reading Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back, and I might be wrong, but I feel like I'm just getting more angry the further I go with it. It's validating EVERYTHING I've experienced and feel. Everything I'm experiencing with her I've screamed to the mountain tops to help her see and making me feel like it's my fault or I'm making it all up. But she won't see, she can't see. Luckily, she's somewhat self-aware and has been going to therapy, but I feel like she has the therapist fooled. She's (the therapist) is telling her that she's improving so much, but yet I don't see any improvement! She's done the DBT therapy with her, and didn't seem like she was too involved in it, and wasn't really doing her exercises. I don't know what else to write right now, so I'll leave it at that for now.
Title: Re: Lost in translation Post by: Blueskyday on October 09, 2019, 04:05:54 PM The anger will most probably be a journey. You will come out the other end. It takes a while and we get all angry again.
It is so hard to find clarity where you are at right now. Take a little more time for yourself if you can. That is the right thing for you to find clarity..This is precisely why it threatens her so much IMHO. Sounds like the children are pawns in her game. She is shaming you most probably because you take pride in being a great Father figure ..No sin in that. I know nothing about you at all but I would bet you receive a lot of external praise for taking on the role of Father figure, how you are with the girls If I am correct of course I may not be this will cause jealousy in her. She may chose this relationship with the girls to blacken your name. What we value about ourselves..where we find our self esteem is at risk so beware. Have a think about where your esteem comes from and prepare for attacks..It will be easier to handle when they come |