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Title: How to do something close to NC with when child is involved Post by: nowthankful on October 25, 2019, 06:21:25 AM Hello,
My attorney filed my divorce 10 days ago. uBPD wife and I are each alternating one week on at our home with our 11 year old daughter and one week off. The spouse with the off week has been staying at a motel. I don’t have the funds right now to get my own place. But maybe I need to find the funds somehow to move out no matter what? Because uBPD wife insists on coming to the house during her off week and she continues in cruel engaging towards me. My new plan is to call the police whenever she comes to the house during her off week. Since a full NC does not seem possible because we are sharing custody of our daughter, just wondering how best to detach without a full NC. nowthankful Title: Re: How to do something close to NC with when child is involved Post by: Turkish on October 26, 2019, 10:24:46 PM I'm assuming that there's no custody order in place yet if you've hist filed. It's certainly maddening that she comes over during your agreed upon time apart. Yet what does your wife do that leads you to want to call the police?
Title: Re: How to do something close to NC with when child is involved Post by: nowthankful on October 26, 2019, 11:04:29 PM I'm assuming that there's no custody order in place yet if you've hist filed. It's certainly maddening that she comes over during your agreed upon time apart. Yet what does your wife do that leads you to want to call the police? Yes, no custody order yet. My wife comes over to give me cruel pain by spitting at me, showing me her cell phone screen photo of her and her new boyfriend. And she tells me she is having tons and tons of great sex now with her new boyfriend. And she says it is not like the crappy, unfulfilling sex I gave to her. And she may get up close into my face and start hitting or pushing me. I once got hauled off to jail because I didn’t flee her physical abuse. Title: Re: How to do something close to NC with when child is involved Post by: Turkish on October 26, 2019, 11:24:24 PM That's cruel what she does. Though you sound hard up for money at the moment, you may want to install a Ring doorbell to film interactions. You'll get 30 days free filming. Keep her outside, catch her in the act. Mine isn't wired and the battery seems to last for two weeks thus far. What does your lawyer advise you about this?
Title: Re: How to do something close to NC with when child is involved Post by: ForeverDad on October 27, 2019, 07:01:07 PM This current arrangement, I believe called "nesting", is impractical for an extended time. Very likely the judge handling your case will decide which parent will have possession of the marital residence during the divorce's temp order. (Beware of the "temporary" designation, our cases often take a year or even two.) So put your best foot forward because temp hearings are often short and generic, perhaps a half hour.
If your spouse has a BF already, then you could make the case that she already has another place to call home while you don't. The problem is that mothers often get possession simply because of the historical deference courts have for that gender. So don't assume you're a shoo-in. Be prepared with solid time tested strategies. Although I don't know all your circumstances, try to not get an apartment until you find out who court decides gets possession of the home. If you do have to get an apartment, make sure court leaves you enough money to find an apartment large enough for the children also to live with you on your parenting time. If kids of both genders, depending on ages, you may need 2 or 3 bedrooms. Yes, no custody order yet... I once got hauled off to jail because I didn’t flee her physical abuse. The past is a reliable predictor of the future. You're at high risk for this happening again, after all, it worked before. |