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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Stillhopeful4 on October 25, 2019, 10:18:35 AM



Title: I would like to ask your thoughts on Love Addict vs Love Avoidant...
Post by: Stillhopeful4 on October 25, 2019, 10:18:35 AM
So I came across this information this week about Love Addicts vs Love Avoidants.  I was shocked at the fact my W has used all 12 of these distancing strategies (in the 3rd link)

https://www.loveaddictionhelp.com/the-love-addict

https://www.loveaddictionhelp.com/love-addiction-cycle

https://www.loveaddictionhelp.com/12-distancing-strategies-the-love-avoidant-uses-to-avoid-intimacy

So I'm wondering, if she is a love avoidant, does that make me a love addict and if so how do I recover from this?  At the end of the day I do love my W.  I know our relationship is not healthy and I want to learn as much as I can to try an improve my part in what I can bring to our relationship, be it our marriage, or friendship or just for myself going forward.

Thanks in advance,

SH4





Title: Re: I would like to ask your thoughts on Love Addict vs Love Avoidant...
Post by: once removed on October 25, 2019, 02:03:14 PM
 :caution:

the author is a life coach (there are no qualification requirements; anyone can be one), and the writing is very vague; so much so, that it could be applied to anyone or anything.

better understanding your attachment style and your wifes, and how the two of them interact is a great idea; same with better understanding codependency (aka "love addiction). im not sure how much this resource can help.

this is a great place to start: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=279028.0

its an outline on and intro attachment styles, based on the popular book "Attached" (recommended).

this is a great intro to what codependency is all about: https://bpdfamily.com/content/codependency-codependent-relationships

does it help? where do you see the two of you?


Title: Re: I would like to ask your thoughts on Love Addict vs Love Avoidant...
Post by: Stillhopeful4 on October 28, 2019, 08:03:58 AM
Thanks for the clarification on this Once Removed and for the links, I will check them out!

SH4