Title: Unable to accept compliments? Post by: Chosen on October 28, 2019, 09:42:09 PM uBPDh is unable to accept criticisms, and that's no news to me. He claims he is very open to criticisms but in reality blows up when he perceives somebody is criticising him. I'm no stranger to his rages which stem from that.
But I also find that he can't really accept compliments either. He would often say "other people would praise me for xyz" and claim that I don't appreciate or praise him. But when I give him a sincere compliment, it would often backfire on me. Either it would give him ammo to attack me (for example I say "you're so good at xyz", he may reply "it's just because you suck.", or "it's pointless because you undo every good effort I make"), or he would brush it off as trivial (and not in a way which shows you're humble, he would angrily say, "yeah, but anybody could do this", implying what's the point, it's no achievement). So that makes things difficult for me. First you tell me I don't compliment you, and then when I do, I either get attacked, or you shut me down in such a way that I can no longer reply. And that's sad because there are really a lot of things I admire about him which I don't express enough, but obviously I don't want my words to be used as an excuse to elaborate on my incompetence as a wife/ human being either. Did any of you experience this or is it not related to BPD? |