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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: OfficalJ on November 10, 2019, 06:54:47 AM



Title: Reaching Out to Bpd Ex
Post by: OfficalJ on November 10, 2019, 06:54:47 AM
Hi people i don't know where to start. My Ex partner of 3 years has really bad Bpd we split up and had endless amounts of dramas. My issue is she currently living in London alone away from her family & friends. I want to reach out to her just a simple text saying I hope your ok. Im not looking to get anything out off it. Just by how I've known her for 3 years she is alone apart from a dog we share, she doesn't have any close friends in london & apart from her job she's alone in London. The last contact we had was a week ago when she messaged me saying she misses me
 etc, normally i would have jumped at the chance to respond back in a positive manner, but i just said i hope she was fine and asked about our dog. I got no reply which i guessed would happen. I want to just know from a friend perspect I hope shes ok knowing her bad her head can get. But im thinking should i leave it should i not any advice people?


Title: Re: Reaching Out to Bpd Ex
Post by: 2020 on November 10, 2019, 08:05:40 AM
Hello OfficialJ,

It is great you have found us. This site has been a lifesaver for me. Making a first post here is a big step towards unraveling these somewhat confusing relationship issues we find ourselves in.

I am sure others will ask you this if I don't... You say you have separated from your partner. How long ago did this happen? You mentioned she has really bad BPD. How did you become aware of this? Is she aware?

I am trying to think about your situation right now. It sounds like you are concerned she hasn't responded. Has this sort of thing happened before? Perhaps because you responded in a manner you normally wouldn't, she has picked up on this and is withdrawing. I am not saying what you did is wrong. I know from experience with my partner, she is highly sensitive to all sorts of movements in the tide, so to speak.

It sounds like you are contemplating sending her a message? A week has passed. Personally, I have gone nuts after a week of no response, but people with BPD often need time to come down I think. If you do choose to send a message, are you apprehensive what the wording should be?

Anyway, keep posting. Don't do what I do, which is wait for a thermal nuclear war to errupt first! I am sure you'll get some good advice from others here shortly. Good Luck!