BPDFamily.com

I’m a very recent casualty of a relationship with  pwBPD. I’m wondering if she knows. She has never told me so, but when we split I told her I was convinced she had BPD & she said it was a nonsense thing, like NPD, made up by psychiatrists to sell drugs. This suggested to me that someone had previously said she had NPD, she was obviously familiar with it. She also said “please don’t block me on Twitter” [where we “met”] which I thought was an odd thing to say, but then thought she had probably been blocked before. She REALLY hurt me. Any thoughts?

Can you give examples of why you broke up? What would she do? What did you do?

Hi bpdcastoff,

*welcome*

What BPD signs or traits did you witness? How do you know about BPD?

All the classic signs - highly promiscuous, unsafe sex, substance use, devaluation after 2 days. She reduced me to tears, then said she didn't admire self-pity. Lack of empathy - "forgot" she had promised to call me to discuss our relationship. Also epileptic and I understand there can be connections.

What is the back story? How long where you together? Can you walk us through the break up?

Can we assume, for the sake of the question, that she does have BPD? I have studied it obsessively and have no doubt, and that wasn’t really my question. My question is, is it possible she knows she has it, and maybe has even been diagnosed, but did not tell me? As I said, the responses suggested she does.

There is certainly no way to know for sure that she knows she has BPD unless she tells you so. From my perspective, I would say that most people are more familiar with NPD than BPD, though most people will not fully understand either diagnosis unless they have lots of experience in dealing with these types of people. There has certainly been a lot of talk of a certain well know person having all the signs of NPD in the last few years, so I would think that many people would be familiar enough with NPD to suggest that another had it. NPD is closely linked to BPD so if one is familiar with either NPD or BPD, they may link one to the other. Probably the only way to get an answer to your question is to ask her directly if she has ever been told she has BPD and if yes, by whom and how many people.

Thanks, that's helpful. We're in no contact, so I can't ask her anything. She has completely dismissed me, after an incredible whirlwind romance.

I've got to let this out, because of my pain. She's clearly very promiscuous, and told me all about it with no shame. Was it to challenge me?  "Are you up to it". Looking for support? What? I don't understand. She said she had slept with 15 drug dealers. I've never even met one...

My exBPD told me many times that she lost count of how many sexual partners she had. Yes, I think she did it to challenge me. But, told me I was the best. Probably BS, but I knew it. We still had a great sex life.

Did it alternate with periods of depressed mood?

A bi-polar mania stage can possess these symptoms too, there is also a link with bipolar and epilepsy.