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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Minato on December 15, 2019, 11:19:53 PM



Title: My wife is threatening to leave again
Post by: Minato on December 15, 2019, 11:19:53 PM
My wife ( not formally diagnosed ) but my counselor suggested I read “ Don’t leave me I hate you “ and walking on eggshells so I may better understand my wife shows BPD symptoms
It’s clear my wife is in a lot of pain “unresolved childhood issues “ flies into a rage , doesn’t want to come home , avoids our 2 kids aged 10 and 4 . Stayed out all night in the summer but since no ,  Continuously asks why do I love her , then the next minute claims to have wasted her life with me .
So sensitive to criticism , won’t go to counseling , we tried marriage counseling before .
Latest blow up doesn’t want to come on Christmas holiday , wants to stay behind to get her own place
She is permanently tired and angry .
I don’t know what to do . I have been receiving counseling myself and not sure if I can put up with these hurts but v concerned for my kids


Title: Re: My wife is threatening to leave again
Post by: Ozzie101 on December 16, 2019, 08:23:50 AM
You've come to the right place, Minato. I'm sorry you're in this situation, but glad you've found us.

That's great that you've been in counseling.

Anyway, the things you describe -- sensitivity to criticism, roller coaster emotions, push/pull dynamic, rages -- are all familiar to me and to many of us here, unfortunately.

On the plus side, we have skills and experience that can help you, if you're interested. It takes time and effort and there are no guarantees, but many of us here have seen great improvements in our relationships.

Perhaps, when you feel like it, you can share a bit more detail. Not trying to be nosy, but details help us get a firmer grip on the situation so we can see what tools might be most useful to you. For instance, could you describe (in a she said/I said kind of way) a recent blow-up?

Keep posting and welcome to the family! :hi: