BPDFamily.com

Hey all!

The last few days, my partner has been SO, so lovely. He's been telling me he loves me often and consistently (this word usually has a lot of fear attached for him so I don't hear it very often). He would send me little messages throughout the day to let me know he was thinking about me and calling every night (he works out of town). Needless to say, it was soo wonderful to just feel like a "normal" couple for once.

Anyway, we texted a bit yesterday morning and all seemed normal. Now, all of a sudden, its been just over 24 hours and I've heard nothing from him.

It's so frustrating because I have no idea if it's BPD-related or not. I hate that I never know. Usually if we don't talk for a little bit, it's just a really busy day and no big deal. But once in awhile, it's him pulling away.

It just scares me and makes me feel so unsettled that things can be absolutely perfect one day, and begin to fall apart the next day- even if nothing has changed.

I am so sick of never feeling "safe". In most relationships, if you don't hear from your partner for a little while, you can usually assume it has nothing to do with you, but with BPD, it's so anxiety-inducing to think that your partner can just wake up one morning and feel totally differently.

I know if it is BPD-related, it's a cycle, and I'm sure either way, we will talk again soon or be back to normal soon. But in the meantime, I am so anxious :(

I reached out about half an hour ago to just say "hey, is everything okay?" but no reply yet. *sigh*

Thanks for letting me rant!

I know what you mean! I've felt those feelings of panic when I don't hear from my H after I send a text with news he might not like, or when I know he's at a stressful meeting or something. But I've been working on detaching and have made a lot of progress.

The uncertainty and the up and down can be bewildering. We can't really control that. But we can control our reactions and separate what's ours from what's his.

In times like this, are there things you can do for you? Go for a walk? Watch wacky videos online? Call a friend or family member to chat?

The ball is in his court now. Let him talk on his own volition, and don't give into the passive aggressive silent treatment.