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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: kay kay on December 21, 2019, 01:38:51 PM



Title: How to manage the fluctuation of personalities.
Post by: kay kay on December 21, 2019, 01:38:51 PM
We have been together for 3 years and I am getting better with dealing with the changing of personalities. IT is so hard. Any suggestions for the silent treatment one?


Title: Re: How to manage the fluctuation of personalities.
Post by: Harri on December 21, 2019, 04:43:22 PM
Hi!

Silent treatment is a tough one.  A lot of times, people will withdraw to get some space though they may not be able to express that at the time (or even after).  In general, I would give them the space. 

How to you handle the silent treatment now?


Title: Re: How to manage the fluctuation of personalities.
Post by: Ozzie101 on December 23, 2019, 09:15:36 AM
Welcome, kay kay!

The silent treatment is a common problem around here. I hope you'll read through some other threads around here (and post if you feel like it!) and see that many others are in the same boat you are.

As Harri asked, what do you usually do when you get the ST? I hope you're practicing some self-care (hobbies, spending time with friends and family, etc.). That can really do us a world of good in keeping up our emotional and physical energy.


Title: Re: How to manage the fluctuation of personalities.
Post by: kay kay on December 23, 2019, 12:39:55 PM
I usually just let him be silent and go about my business. We have a family together so I need to ask questions in regards to the kids BUt other than that we do not talk.


Title: Re: How to manage the fluctuation of personalities.
Post by: Ozzie101 on December 24, 2019, 08:55:04 AM
That's usually best. Just go about your business. Be open to him. Ask him normal questions or tell him normal things ("I've got to run to the store. Be back soon!") but don't push or try to talk to him about the ST or other serious matters. Hopefully, he'll come around in time.

In the meantime, while he's coming back to baseline, do things for yourself. Spend time with friends and family. Do things you enjoy. That will help keep your own energy up.

Hang in there and keep posting! :hug: