BPDFamily.com

I had a simple Christmas with friends, enjoyed myself, and did not feel the usual upset about not being wanted by my family. Three days after Christmas, I had to go to the emergency room. I have never been so sick in my whole life. I have been diagnosed with Shingles which is basically the reactivation of the chicken pox virus. The recovery time is 4-6 weeks and can lead to permanent nerve damage and horrendous long term pain. This all feels like when I used to get sick on Christmas break when I was in college when I could actually afford to get sick. It feels like my body is telling me that I can't be allowed to enjoy my peace. I know that the ACES study has found that people who have many adverse child events including abusive parents have more life long mental and physical illnesses. Any thoughts and/or advice?

zachira I'm so sorry you got so sick! Ugh. I hope you feel better soon. :hug:

It's not uncommon for me to go, go, go, then get sick the first day of vacation. It's like the stress catches up in that first moment of peace when I slow down long enough. I firmly believe this will level out for you. Was this your first Christmas without your family? I'm proud of how you handled it and enjoyed yourself!

Big hugs. 

The shingles/chicken pox virus, like herpes viruses, lives in the body and can be affected by stress. It's not surprising that the stress leading up to this holiday might have helped trigger the reactivation of the virus. I'm so sorry! Shingles can be painful -- I hope your outbreak is milder.

What did your doctor recommend for self-defense over the next couple months?

Hi zachira!  :hi:

Yes, it can be brought on by stress or a slightly rundown immune system. A few coworkers and a relative have had outbreaks. I know it's so painful. Am wishing you a speedy recovery!  :hug:

These illnesses just happen sometimes. It's part of being human.

You deserve happiness and to spend your time with people who support you. Correct me if I'm going down the wrong path, I used to think happiness would be followed by hardship. I didn't deserve  good things -- a job promotion, going on a nice vacation. I would imagine a poor performance review or my plane would crash. These imagined catastrophes caused me a lot stress.  

My mom's abject abuse and unpredictable behavior gave me that mistaken idea. Daily meditation and deep breathing have helped me gain clearer understanding of the past. I exercise 1.5 hours 6 days a week and eat lots of veggies and fruit. That helps create a stronger immune system. Truthfully, I wouldn't pay attention to those studies. You are the captain of your destiny. You are not going on your journey blindly.

That's wonderful that you spent your holidays the way you wanted to: with positive, nurturing friends.  You are doing a great job!   :heart: :heart:


 

I’m sorry you are going through this! Like others said, shingles can be triggered by stress. I had it several years ago. Even though I caught it early and went on antiviral meds, it was very painful. Just remember that it WILL pass! The first two weeks are the worst, and most likely you won’t have residual pain. Try not to google about it too much :(  I tried some tai chi during the most painful episodes, seemed to help and was a distraction.

Think of this as a reminder to take care of yourself! Your Christmas with friends was a step in that direction. Sending healing wishes your way...

P.S. After you recover ask your doc about the shingles vaccine. Even though you’ve had shingles, it’s possible to get it again. So unfair!

Hi zachira.  I am sorry to hear that you are ill.  Shingles is tough to deal with.

If your body is saying that it is a liar!  :)  I learned a long time ago that some of the most stressful times in our lives are also some of the more pleasant ones, like vacation, getting married, buying a house.  All of those things are happy events.  I have come to my own conclusion (based on nothing but thoughts :( ) that a decrease in stress can trigger a stress response as well  |---> big swings in stress that can have adverse effects as well.

anyway, I hope you heal quickly and are not in too much pain.

Hi Z-

I’m so so sorry you’ve been temporarily sidelined by shingles.  It’s temporary, my friend.  Painful, but temporary.

Last New Year’s Eve, my mom called me in severe pain with a “rash”.  I ran to her house with my Purador organic argon oil.  I massaged it on all the spots where the rash showed.  It’s a wonderfully soothing oil that I highly suggest.  I proceeded to wipe the excess oil on MY skin.  Smart, huh?

On January 2, 2019 we learned she had Shingles and I thought “uh oh...”... My mom has a compromised immune system due to RA, but has NOT had a recurrence.  The acute symptoms (pain) didn’t last as long as the rash.  I upped my vitamins and my haiku tea intake, inflated my imaginary “health bubble” and didn’t have a breakout (luckily).

You’re going to be okay, Z.  Be kind to yourself.  *S* happens to the best people sometimes.  Watch some funny stuff.  Eat chicken soup.  And please consider the soothing Purador argon oil.

Hugs to you for good healing.

Gemsforeyes

Thank you all for your thoughtful kind replies and support. I am now dealing with chronic fatigue which is a part of having shingles. My mind is strong and I am not depressed or unhappy. I do feel that all of this is part of the learning curve in recovering from being chosen as the family scapegoat and being terribly abused any time I tried to break out of the role that I had been chosen for by my abusive family members. The difference this time is I am emotionally calm and appreciating what I have. My mind has learned to respond positively to the challenges that come my way.  I do feel that I became physically ill because my body is still learning not to relapse when things are going too well. From my perspective, dealing with the relapses is a big part of recovering from a lifetime of being abused by family members. Many years ago, I got a great job, and almost got fired for doing something completely stupid, and I was really lucky I did not get fired. I have seen this pattern pop up in my life over and over again, though now it is less frequent and less overwhelming. My New Year's resolution is to work on strengthening my immune system so I am not so vulnerable when I am feeling stressed or when I am not taking good care of myself. I was not at all stressed during the holidays, so I don't feel that stress has anything to do with my getting sick.