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Title: How do I keep us both safe through a breakup? Post by: Zola on January 02, 2020, 04:05:14 PM Hello
I really need some help. I have been dating my girlfriend for two years. Recently she's been pushing to talk about having children and it's become clear we want different things. After discussing our future for a few weeks we took the decision to move on. I thought this was mutual. She struggles with anxiety and depression. I have tried to support her through her studies and I wanted to remain friends. Whatever happened, I didn't stop caring about her. So I kept in contact. After a few days she dropped out of college. A week later I got a call saying she was at the airport and getting on a plane to somewhere to kill herself. After a day chasing her from airport to airport. I talked her down with the help of her parents. She lives abroad and I had some flights already booked to go see her from before the breakup. We agreed I wouldn't go. But a short while before I was meant to be flying, she threatened to cut up her arms if I didn't go over. So I went over. Whilst we were over there, we tried to talk. Upon saying we couldn't get back together she took an overdose, I had to call an ambulance. She was sectioned for two days and diagnosed with BPD. When she got out we had a great couple of weeks together. I ignored talking any more about 'us' for fear of what might happen. She started going to daily DBT therapy and I went home. A week ago she called me up and said she was going to give up on her life - give up med school, give up therapy and come live on my couch. Partly because I don't want her to give up on her life (she recently started med school), partly because she shouldnt quit the therapy she needs, but mainly because I'm terrified of what might happen if she comes over and I don't accept to start dating her again, I said no. Another suicide attempt ensues. Despite this she has booked a flight to mine for a week's time and is saying she's going to drop out of therapy, med school and live at my place. She says she's sure we'll just get back together despite the fact I keep telling her we won't. Her dad is begging me not to cut contact. But I'm not sure I'm making it any better being a constant reminder of why she's unhappy. Furthermore, perhaps I'm giving her false hope. Should I cut contact? I don't feel great about it. Partly because I care about her. But mainly because I'm terrified of what might happen if I do. I don't want the death of someone I love on my conscience. I'd really appreciate some advice. I'm pretty desperate Thanks |