Title: Trust in timing. Poured out of me. Shocked. Grateful. Letter to mom Post by: Imatter33 on January 06, 2020, 12:08:53 PM Dear Mom,
I do not think you would recognize me today. I do not really recognize myself either, but I’ll tell you this I like who I see in the mirror. I am not afraid to say no. I am not afraid to distance myself from people and things that are not good for me. I am learning to say what I need before I am angry. I am learning to end fights by silence. To cool off is power. I am raising a beautiful child. My marriage is experiencing healing. I am full of joy at my progress. I see you compassionately. I know as a woman you have deep desires for your life and purpose. I know as a mom you do love fiercely. I think I am done blaming you for your skill deficits. This does not mean we will talk soon. This does not mean I am not hurting. This does not mean you are not responsible for you. In fact Mom, So many of our fights and disagreements, boiled-down to control. We fought much of the time because you thought I did not think you could be responsible. Well I was wrong. You are responsible and absolutely can own your life and choices. I respect them. I do not have to be involved in anything I do not want to be. I respect me. This does not mean I do not love you. I too, love you fiercely. A trait passed down.. no doubt. You are a good woman, a good soul. Not the best mom but that is okay. I love you. I am not guilt free. However, with this written down I realize my time away from you is helping me love you more. And that is nothing to feel badly about. Your Daughter, Me * Written only for me at this time.* Another version is likely to spring from this one that I would feel comfortable sending potentially.* *The realization that my being NC is a loving act to her is so huge. I posted in my introduce yourself post that my biggest issue was finding a way to love her right now. I don't know how I put that together. I really don't. I just felt so much love in writing the letter, and as many of you know my previous feeling was fury. WHOA. Title: Re: Trust in timing. Poured out of me. Shocked. Grateful. Letter to mom Post by: Harri on January 06, 2020, 12:13:53 PM Hi. :hug:
That is a powerful letter and I am glad you are at a point where you could write it all out and share with us. Well done... and yes, you have learned things! :wee: Is this a letter for you or did you send it? Title: Re: Trust in timing. Poured out of me. Shocked. Grateful. Letter to mom Post by: pursuingJoy on January 06, 2020, 12:24:18 PM Your kid is so lucky to have you. :heart: |iiii
Title: Re: Trust in timing. Poured out of me. Shocked. Grateful. Letter to mom Post by: Imatter33 on January 06, 2020, 02:04:10 PM Harri and PJ,
:hug: :hug: :hug: Title: Re: Trust in timing. Poured out of me. Shocked. Grateful. Letter to mom Post by: TelHill on January 06, 2020, 02:38:02 PM This is fantastic! You hit the nail on the head about detaching with compassion. I plan to save and read this daily along with my meditation.
Does it matter if mom gets this or not? You’ve got it! Thank you. :heart: :heart: :heart: :hug: Title: Re: Trust in timing. Poured out of me. Shocked. Grateful. Letter to mom Post by: Methuen on January 06, 2020, 10:00:23 PM A powerful, beautiful, and amazing poem. :love-it:
Title: Re: Trust in timing. Poured out of me. Shocked. Grateful. Letter to mom Post by: SunnyVale on January 07, 2020, 12:46:07 AM Thank you for sharing!
What you said about going NC is for her as much as you really hits home. Struggling at the moment, needed to hear this. I wish you all the best |