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Title: Spy games have comenced Post by: Newyoungfather on January 07, 2020, 08:41:45 AM Hello All,
I believe I talked about this briefly in one of my older post. ExBPD got my son a tablet for Christmas and I don't let him use it when he's with me. My son would state "mommy says I need to take pictures of daddy's house". I also just learned that a locator ap was turned on which is how ex always knows and brings up that I travel out of my house and visit friends and family with my son a lot. Ex has finally question me that my son states that I don't let him use his tablet at daddy's house and now she wants to know why. I wonder if I should answer this or let the email go, any thoughts about how people in the past handle this. Title: Re: Spy games have comenced Post by: worriedStepmom on January 07, 2020, 08:50:47 AM One of my friends was very clear with her ex - "The children cannot use their phones at my house because you are using them to track us, and that is inappropriate." (This caused much drama, but it was good documentation.)
We've told H's uBPDex "The phone is being used inappropriately, so it won't be used in our home. We'll gave it back to you when she returns to you." (Not saying where the inappropriateness was coming from - SD or mom) It's also appropriate for you not to respond at all. It's not her business what you do on your time. Title: Re: Spy games have comenced Post by: Grady on January 07, 2020, 09:14:01 AM I agree that it's not necessary to respond. It isn't her business what is happening when your son is with you. I think responding will just cause more of an issue.
Title: Re: Spy games have comenced Post by: Newyoungfather on January 07, 2020, 11:05:57 AM Thanks, she's deft deregulating right now and I'm trying to figure out why.
Title: Re: Spy games have comenced Post by: ForeverDad on January 07, 2020, 03:42:53 PM It sounds like she's monitoring the tablet as you travel, allowing it to be in suspended mode may not deactivate the tracker programs. Not sure, but even turning it off may not stop it from being tracked. You can always leave it at your residence while you travel.
Also, I've heard that if you put a phone, tablet, etc in a Faraday bag then that will probably block it's signals. Or you can be cheap and put it in a plastic bag and then wrap it in aluminum foil. Title: Re: Spy games have comenced Post by: livednlearned on January 08, 2020, 08:26:16 AM She already knows why you don't allow the tablet to be used at your house.
It's a question intended to provoke a reaction. Title: Re: Spy games have comenced Post by: zachira on January 09, 2020, 08:40:12 AM In my experiences with family members with BPD, the less information you provide about yourself, the less drama for you and others. I would not respond to inappropriate questions from your ex, and limit anything you say to her to be about coparenting. Probably the best way to communicate is thru writing, as then you have documentation. The less information your ex has about you, the more likely she is to get involved in other people's lives and leave you alone.
Title: Re: Spy games have comenced Post by: formflier on January 09, 2020, 01:43:21 PM Agree with the others. No need to respond. Have you own electronics for him, that stay at your place. Best, FF Title: Re: Spy games have comenced Post by: PeteWitsend on January 10, 2020, 12:45:19 PM ... Also, I've heard that if you put a phone, tablet, etc in a Faraday bag then that will probably block it's signals. Or you can be cheap and put it in a plastic bag and then wrap it in aluminum foil. they only block signals while they're in the bag though. so if it's set up to geolocate via GPS or pinging the cellular network, it will still record & broadcast its location when he takes them out to use them. If his goal is to keep that information (i.e. where he goes with his kid) private, then it'll need to remain in the Faraday bag the entire time. |