|
Title: Glad to know I am not alone. Post by: Pridegirl73 on January 11, 2020, 02:50:43 PM :hi: I am new here and wanted to say hello, I am here to learn as much as I can about my wife's Borderline (she has a duel diagnosis, also Bipolar) and learn how to better cope/react to the constant rollercoaster that has become my life. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone ever and I can't imagine my life without her, but I also can't imagine living like this forever either. I am desperate to save our marriage even though I know she has to do most of the changes. Hopefully if I learn how to view her actions in a more compassionate manner and react differently she will follow... Blessings to you all and thanks for listening ♡♡♡
Title: Re: Glad to know I am not alone. Post by: Pridegirl73 on January 11, 2020, 03:39:04 PM The last paragraph was spot on for me! This is EXACTLY what I have been going through for 22 + months, especially the sleep deprivation! I am never allowed to sleep when she is awake (which is a lot and random weird hours) yet when she is asleep... Lord have mercy if she gets woken up! I have been so mind !@$%ed into a corner that I don't know what is up and what is down anymore
... so this thread really hit home! I am so glad to have read it because I honestly thought I was going crazy! Thank you! Projection In this workshop we wanted to talk about "Projection". What is it? Why do BP's do it? How does it affect NONs? And, how do we deal with it? In general, emotionally healthy people base their perceptions on facts. Projection is basing your perception of reality on feelings. Projection is a defense mechanism, operating unconsciously, in which what is emotionally unacceptable in the self is unconsciously rejected and attributed (projected) to others. Projection is denying one's own unpleasant traits, behaviors, or feelings by attributing them, often in an accusing way, to someone else. Commonly the projection is an exaggeration of something that has a basis in reality. For example, the borderline may accuse you of "hating" them when you just feel irritated. Sometimes the projection may come entirely from their imagination: for example, they accuse you of flirting with someone when you were just asking for directions to the shoe department. ~ Randi Kreger Some adults who enter into relationships with borderlines feel brainwashed by the BP's accusations and criticisms. The techniques of brainwashing are simple: isolate the victim, expose them to inconsistent messages, mix with sleep deprivation, add some form of abuse, get the person to doubt what they know and feel, keep them on their toes, wear them down, and stir well. ~ Elyce M. Benham, M.S. I look forward to hearing from you all. Skippy Title: Re: Glad to know I am not alone. Post by: Skip on January 11, 2020, 04:47:10 PM How long have you two been together? What kind of issues does she have with you (it's always a good place to start)? Let's talk about how to defuse it all.
|