BPDFamily.com

I have been discarded and went no contact since middle of December.
My ex girlfriend just left with no closure or explanation. We could not talk or connect in 16 years and she used the silent treatment quite often.
I have read many books on BPD and NPD and i believe she has traits  of both and has Bipolar issues as well. She comes from a alcoholic father and a mother she hasn't talk to except once for better than 20 plus years.
I am trying to move on and heal myself but i am stuck in a dark place.
I am not sure she ever loved me and is a person that has no empathy toward me.
i am afraid some days i will not survive this abuse of the mentally torture and manipulation.
She left after a week of going silent after a 2 minute conversation that i was being gas-lighted on.
She did it the day after thanksgiving which i spent alone as she went to her dads girlfriends house that i was never invited to.
My house was left upside down and after waiting almost 2 weeks for a phone call or a explanation, I pack the rest of her things up and brought it to her Dad's, i can only imagine she was waiting for me to chase her to come back, but i was mentally exhausted. Her father and his Girls friend are her support group including a younger daughter that are all dysfunctional in my opinion with the same problems especially her fathers girlfriend. With in a week she was impulsive and purchased a home in the same area i lived in, however she has never lived on her own except for 3 years after her divorce 20 years ago.I owned the house and all the furniture. When i met her 16 years ago she was in underwater financial and had a car that the engine was ready to blow with a one year degree.
I gave her the means to pick herself up to get her masters degree and a means to save alot of money. She did help me with the bills each month when she was finished with school and had a good job. But basically i was a caregiver and solved all of her problems when they came up.
She left very bitter and angry and tried to use me as a punching bag after i brought her things to her dad house, saying there are other things that are sentimental in my home that are hers.
I never allowed myself to get bitter or fight with her and always wished her well and gave her everything that was hers and anything she requested so i could put it behind me.
Finally after the third time of meeting her father to give back anything she wanted including Gifts that where given to both of us that she took, i told her not to contract me and i wish her well. I cant seem to move on and i am in a very dark place. I have also learned that i am a Co-dependent in all my readings. i can't take these dark feelings anymore for the last 5 weeks, Thank God i have my sister and a few close friends helping me everyday including life coaches i listen to on YouTube.
The mental abuse i received and the manipulation is something i never experienced, we slept in separate rooms for the last 2 years with no affection. we became room mates and that seemed to be ok with her. She has a stressful job in administration of a hospital that she is ready to crack and can't seem to hold it together on top of going through Menopause
I am a educated businessman that feels used and betrayed like never before.
Please God help us that have been through this!

you have described my marriage, and you've described my being discarded.

i do not want to co-opt your post, so i won't go into my story; however, please know you will get through this. i promise.

i have been 2 1/2 years of complete NC, and I feel way better.

when he left and when i got the paperwork for the divorce, i pretty much collapsed. i know how bad you feel.

at the 9-month mark, i began to feel slightly less devastated. to get to the 9 month mark, i relied on friends, this forum, and my therapist. you will get there.

now i am actually grateful my STBX left. i really am. i'm still in the middle of a nasty divorce, but my life is much calmer. i can write again, read again, enjoy life again.

my heart goes out to you because how bad it feels to be discarded without an opportunity to even discuss it.

 :hug: :hug: :hug:
TMD

Thanks for your compassion, it is nice to hear someone with enthalpy. I never got that in 16 years of our relationship.