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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Rev on January 20, 2020, 06:40:52 PM



Title: Funny where the healing lessons come from ,,,,
Post by: Rev on January 20, 2020, 06:40:52 PM
Wow...   I just had a real life situation teach me how far I've come.

Long story short - I almost fell for an internet scam while downloading some legitimate software. Thankfully I got out okay - but it came really close to them having total access to everything.  Worst of it was that i was being conned into giving most of it to them.

And then something snapped into place in me - and as quick as I had got myself into a jam - I was out.

JUST like my relationship with my ex - total con artist.

And then something else snapped into place - no longer is she going to con me - not even her memory.

Does anyone else have any "lightbulb stories" to tell about healing?

Rev


Title: Re: Funny where the healing lessons come from ,,,,
Post by: SinisterComplex on January 20, 2020, 11:01:50 PM
Rev, I am happy to hear this. The reason why...you are a nice guy and for all intents and purposes a good human being that many others should try to emulate (I don't need much to go on to be able to discern this so please accept the compliment graciously ;-). Its good to learn the lessons to not be so trusting of others because unfortunately if you give people (generalizing here for the sake of discussion) an inch they will take it a mile. So in a sense you could look at how your experience has helped make you stronger and more vigilant. In essence, you smelled the BS and your instincts kicked in so you got yourself out of danger. Be happy and proud of yourself. This is a sign of growing and progress mi amigo. The natural progression here will be that your boundaries will also start to stiffen moving forward. Keep on keeping on my friend. Its a joy seeing you do better and learn.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-


Title: Re: Funny where the healing lessons come from ,,,,
Post by: Cromwell on January 21, 2020, 03:46:39 PM
1. It isn't either fair as much as I don't give her the credit of duping me. It converged a mix of turning a blind eye to what I didn't want to see.
2. We open up the issue of vengeance. What happens when the scam is discovered, what consequences could occur as a result. My ex did stiff on impulse and lacked this foresight at those moments. It helped to forgive her. Take it less personally.

There are plenty of frauds out there online offlline. How much of an element exists of the person wishing sometimes even paying to be duped. An example is those who pay for fortune teller services and so called clairvoyants.

Is there an iota of self duping in your story Rev or did it come entirely as a shock out of nowhere.


Title: Re: Funny where the healing lessons come from ,,,,
Post by: Rev on January 21, 2020, 04:40:46 PM
1. It isn't either fair as much as I don't give her the credit of duping me. It converged a mix of turning a blind eye to what I didn't want to see.
2. We open up the issue of vengeance. What happens when the scam is discovered, what consequences could occur as a result. My ex did stiff on impulse and lacked this foresight at those moments. It helped to forgive her. Take it less personally.

There are plenty of frauds out there online offlline. How much of an element exists of the person wishing sometimes even paying to be duped. An example is those who pay for fortune teller services and so called clairvoyants.

Is there an iota of self duping in your story Rev or did it come entirely as a shock out of nowhere.

Well hindsight is 20/20 so its hard. Red flags  - yes depending on how you see it. Total lies - plenty of them.  Too many people have come forward with stories.

In the end - you are correct - it comes down to self knowledge - self respect - and courage.  

I have forgiven her for some things. Others are a question of letting things go. Will I forgive her for her outright lies beyond just letting it go ? Time will tell I suppose.

Thanks for the sobering moment.

Rev.