BPDFamily.com

My low battery warning seems to coincide with my level of hope right now. Ive been dating this absolutely perfect man, who isn't so perfect all the time. He has never been officially diagnosed with BPD but i am 99.5% sure he is. Everything I have read about this disorder describes him and his behavior to a T. This week is actually our one year anniversary, so we've been on this rollercoaster for awhile.
The one thing that we cannot get around is that when we have to separate he logs onto my google account to track me. But it IS NOT always accurate, sometimes by a long shot. It is beyond aggravating that he will believe a faulty app over me. I can video chat with him while I am at work, showing him I am at the hospital I work at that he has been to many times. It's like he thinks I am tricking him. It feels like no matter what I say or have proof of he only believes the maps. His go to is to call me a lying whore. It usually cycles back to him coming back to me, often looking sick, telling me how much he loves me and that it doesn't even matter where I was, he cant live without me.
When he is in his accusatory stage, it has become harder and harder to take. And I will be the first to say that I do not have the patience that I should. I don't know the right way to respond, I need guidance big time. I usually just end up getting so mad that we get in a fight. He says such horrid things it tips me like a knife in my heart.
I DO NOT want to let him go, but I am getting to the point where I feel like I have nothing left. I have completely changed my life for him. I have gotten a divorce, given up my house so my teenage daughter could live at home with her dad and wouldn't be exposed to my love's rant sessions. When he came to me, I felt like he was on deaths door. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I swear to you on all that is good in this world that all I want is for us to be happy together. I've known him for around 17 years, but never really got to know him until the last year and a half. I truly felt like I had finally after 41 years on this planet found the missing piece to my puzzle. I am literally obsessed with him and building out future. But we can't go more than 2 days without him accusing me of being with another man. Being called a whore on a weekly basis is causing damage to my psyche. And when I try to show proof or explain to him that he is wrong then i am called a liar. I will claim many descriptive terms for my character, but a liar, I am not nor have I ever been. And I am so far from a whore it is almost comical, if it wasn't so hurtful and real in his head.
I need to know how to handle to barrage of insults and more importantly, how to put his fears at rest or at least hoe to calm him down. Please anyone who can relate to what I am going though, please help me. I don't want to lose him and I don't want to lose my own life either.

hi Bleeding Heart, and *welcome*

ive been there!

i was with a very, very jealous partner. we were together just shy of three years, and a great deal of that time was taken up arguing about my intentions with other women.

its hard. it feels really smothering and invasive to be accused of things, and sometimes it seems like it just has to happen when things are going well.

the impossibly short version is that some guidelines ought to be introduced in terms of mutual respect and crossing lines. at the same time, you need reasonable expectations in terms of what that can mean, especially when hes worked up.

you have a jealous partner, and BPD tends to mean an inherent lack of trust, and tendency to assume the worst, and then act on that assumption. generally speaking, that is unlikely to change. but that doesnt have to mean interactions between the two of you cant improve.


tell us more. were you married when the two of you met?