|
Title: Two swallows do not a summer maketh Post by: Cromwell on February 09, 2020, 04:36:42 AM What does this saying mean to you in the context of having experienced a relationship of disorder and visions of future ones thereafter.
Discuss. Title: Re: Two swallows do not a summer maketh Post by: I Am Redeemed on February 09, 2020, 09:36:52 AM One instance of something occurring does not mean that it will happen again.
Granted, I have a history of choosing very unhealthy partners, but this last relationship prompted me to take a look at the reasons why I made those choices so I can get to the root of my own issues and make better choices in the future (if and when I decide to date again). Armed with knowledge about myself and the red flags and dynamics of unhealthy relationships and how they develop, I believe that I have a better chance of choosing a healthy partner next time. Learning how to set boundaries, learning about why I feel the need to please people to manage my anxiety, and learning about why I set low standards in order to be loved and not be alone all are better preparing me to steer clear of another unhealthy relationship in the future. I happen to have two swallow tattooed on my chest. My ex did them; he's actually quite talented at that but the tattoos were never finished beyond the outline. I plan to get them colored in at some point, and when I do, I will remember this saying. Title: Re: Two swallows do not a summer maketh Post by: PeteWitsend on February 09, 2020, 10:02:50 AM What does this saying mean to you in the context of having experienced a relationship of disorder and visions of future ones thereafter. Discuss. I was unfamiliar with the saying so I looked it up; I guess it means, even if you see a swallow or two, you might still have a way to go before summer arrives, and so suffer through more cold weather & snow. But the swallow in the saying is interpreted as a brief, but positive event, and it's hard to consider a relationship with a pwBPD as a positive event :( I guess to me, trying to apply it as such, it would mean that just because you suffered through one bad relationship, do not assume your next one would be good, or perhaps that you are ready to recognize a bad relationship when the warning signs start. You still have more learning to do. Title: Re: Two swallows do not a summer maketh Post by: Cromwell on February 09, 2020, 01:22:31 PM I see it as a reminder to myself when trying to date again that the triggers I pick up I have to work strongly at not Linking them up to bpdx.
I suppose for me it is part hope based on not generalising and trying to see the unique individuality in a new relationship in order to give it a fair chance. Up until now that has been a huge task, triggers, red flags I've seen the 2nd swallow and made early assumptions of what would happen. The saying helps remind me to be less jaded, cynical and more logic driven. Maybe what I'm aiming towards is some cautious optimism for the next relationship. I really dunno but thanks for chipping in both of you |