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Title: How can I get my ex back Post by: Jboy305 on February 11, 2020, 10:18:56 PM She has BPD and bipolar the relanship ended because their was no trust she made me jealous by talking to ex behind my back and I made jealous with another girl her ex is out the picture and I was at her house I asked if we could get back together she said not right now she wants to see how we get in as friends plus after we broke up she was back in a mental health hosptial for a few days a few weeks ago so getting her back I'm playing cool giving her space hopefully she will contact me soon if she doesn't I will contact her. She has been sexual abused by her dad when she was a chill I think she suffers from PTSD too she is afraid of the dark and doesn't go out much when I first met her she would speck to me but at times wouldent talk at times or stop talking half way through a converson . I tried to make jealous by getting another girl to write on my Facebook timeline she was distant for a while and I got scared of her finding a new partner I told her that is why I did it and got her flowers to show I was sorry and a few days ago I mailed her told her I was sorry for hurting her and for taking her for granted and other things just getting her back is tricky because if I chase her I seem needy and destorate and if I don't it seems like I don't love. I do love her when we were together I was doing all the effort after the honeymoon stage all I did was treat her good and she backed off because I was being nice I can understand why and before we broke up she asked why I thought she was cheating I told her she said it hurt her feeling I just thought if I was honest it would eork
Title: Re: How can I get my ex back Post by: khibomsis on February 16, 2020, 08:26:03 AM :hi: Jboy305, and welcome to the family!
I am sorry you are going through this! Still, if you want her back you need to be aware that it is a long and hard road. The best way to go about it is to strengthen yourself. Do you have hobbies or activities that keep you busy and healthy both mentally and physically? If not, then it is a good start to reactivate old ones or find new ones. This will make you more of a rounded person who is fun to be with. Also have a look at your social networks. To be with a person who has BPD requires a lot of strength on our part, you have to understand that her hesitations are absolutely valid in her situation. People with BPD have to trust their significant others in a way that nons don't, because they really need a lot of support to make it through life. Ask yourself if you are that person, and if not, what you can do to become that person? What you are going to need is lots of support yourself as you navigate this. So are there people in your family with whom you are on good terms? Do you have good friends? Strengthen your relationships with them because you will need it. At the bottom of your screen you will find a list of Relationship Tools. Study them so that you will be able to use them if she contacts you again. I think the chances are high that she will, and your job is to be ready this time. We are here to answer any questions you might have about using the tools. There is a huge breach of trust between you that only time can heal. I would suggest going Low Contact. Send a sweet text, a picture or nice music about once a week for the next three weeks. Nothing that demands a response, just generally along the lines of you are thinking about her and still have feelings. Don't push any harder than that. Let her feel that she is cared for but you have to give her the space to make her own choices. And keep posting! The more you tell us about your situation, the better we can help. :hug: Khib |