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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: flangleboi on February 25, 2020, 01:40:03 PM



Title: I want my ex gf back, were back in contact.
Post by: flangleboi on February 25, 2020, 01:40:03 PM
Hi again, haven't posted in a while. Some off you may allready now my story with my bpd ex girlfriend. I was blocked for about 2 months, from october till january. After she unblocked me, we didnt really talk much. But these last few days weve talked abit. Im looking for advice on how to get her intersted in a relationship again, sometimes i feel like she misses me even, but i always end up questioning myself. Which is really bad, feels like torture. Heres and example: Two days ago someone in her family died, i gave her my condolences and told her that if she ever needed to talk to someone, i would be her for her as a friend. She seemed very happy about this message, and said so am I for you. Then yesterday, she started talking to me about a party she attended this weekend. And she was emberassed off something that happened, she cried on the party for some stupid reason. I told her she shouldnt be emberassed, and everybody gets too drunk sometimes. Then the conversation ended pretty quickly after. After something like this,  i get so f.ing sad. I think, maybe if i said something different or worded myself differently things would be different and she would be more intersted. She was very responsive yesterday and the day before, and started a conversation with me several times. Today we havent talked at all, im in this for the long haul. And i would do anything to get her back. Anyone have any ideas how i should "play" this? What can I say or do? Sometimes it feels like she likes me to take the first step to get more in touch and talk more. And sometimes it feels like she doesnt even care about me or wants to be in contact whatsoever. All help would be much appreciated, thanks again

-Henry


Title: Re: I want my ex gf back, were back in contact.
Post by: flangleboi on February 26, 2020, 05:06:48 PM
Nothing today also. :/ I find it so weird that she seems so intersted in talking just two days ago, then boom nothing. Its weird, even for her.


Title: Re: I want my ex gf back, were back in contact.
Post by: Rev on February 26, 2020, 06:34:44 PM
Anyone have any ideas how i should "play" this?

 All help would be much appreciated, thanks again

-Henry

Hello my friend,

You are asking for ideas on how to "play" this - and you are asking for help - so, I'll bite.

The first thing I would be asking you if you were in front of me is - what kind of relationship do you think you will have if you need to "make a play" to have it?

So - I think that doing some therapy to get to a place where you want a relationship that is free of games is the help you seek. Once you get there - your thoughts and feelings in balance - then you'll see if you really want her back.

And, please remember.  pwBPD are very unstable - feelings based facts that don't last.

Good luck.

Rev