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Title: Rebounding? My story. Post by: cd_ex on February 25, 2020, 04:40:47 PM My exwBPD (3yr r/s) and I went from talking about marriage and kids one day to needing a break the next, then completely over a few days later. She went from saying it's so hard, she loves me and doesn't want the break to saying she only came back (recycling over 6 months) because it was familiar and not because she loved me.
She met someone that week and that's where this 180 turn came from. He's a 7 month widow to a 14 year relationship and still posts about his wife all over social media while the ex is posting all about her new love and how happy they are together. They've only known each other 4 weeks and he's already moving to her state and they are full blown in a relationship with all the future plans going down. I know pwBPD can dissociate and she completely blocked out almost ALL of her 10 year previous relationship/marriage. And looking back at us, she attached within a week of knowing me. So it's a cycle repeated. But she also didn't leave a relationship to be with me and had been single most of the previous 2.5 years. This one has me hurting and scratching my head. How can she go from I love you to I didn't actually love you and now I'm really in true love with someone else in ONE WEEK? Is this her blocking it out and denying herself the opportunity to deal with the emotional stuff? She's been prone to literally running away when things get hard (impulsive). Title: Re: Rebounding? My story. Post by: once removed on March 10, 2020, 03:47:52 AM oh man :hug:
the love of your life getting with someone new hurts immeasurably. my ex was in a new relationship in a week or two as well. how are you holding up, cd_ex? Title: Re: Rebounding? My story. Post by: daze507 on March 10, 2020, 04:19:26 AM I read many posts of here and what I see is always the same:
You guys are still trying to interpret the behaviour of our xBPD as if they did not have it. I think it's wrong and that you are just torturing yourself at this point. I found my ex on dating socials almost immediately after she dumped me and it hurt immensely but I was not aware of BPD, didn't even know such thing existed. Now that I know that, I just think that it all makes sense. We know that BPD can fall in intense love (at least their idea of love) in a few days but that they can also forget you as quickly. We also know than, most of the time, when a BPD draws a cross on your face, it's over, you've become irrelevant ans there is no coming back. All of that is the reason why a brack-up with a BPD is devastating for the non BPD partner but we have to accept guys, we have to accept that these people don't see the world (and that includes us and the relationship they had with us) the same way we see it. In other word, there is not point asking ourselves why and seeking answers. We just have to accept that what we had is not what we thought we had and move on... And I'm the first to say it's horrible. |