BPDFamily.com

Hi.

I need some help. Its a long story, here goes. When me and My BPD first went out, she suggested to have an open relationship, as she wasnt sure how she felt and as i was very anxious about the whole thing, we agreed. This led to me feeling insecure, i was so insecure it led to us breaking up, then getting back together and then we broke up again on new years day, her choice. I was an utter mess, it broke me for a good few days(i have depression and anxiety) Ipulled myself back together though and got on with life, started using dating apps again. Me and my BPD  met as friends a few weeks later and she told me she felt differently, i said i still liked her but i didn’t want an open thing. We talked again a few times and agreed to get back together on a friday, (this was end of jan) i had already arranged a date on the saturday, i told her and she said to cancel it, i did, but i left it open with the girl, i just said i wasnt feeling well, me and BPD worked through a lot of difficult to talk about things and almost broke up again the following week but worked it out. This girl text me start of feb, instead of blowing her off, i just said i’d text her some time but i was busy now. I never did, felt awful and deleted all the messages. Me and BPD  grew very close since then, she told me she was falling in love with me, and i am with her. 2 days back, she went through my phone and ipad and the ipad had backed up all the messages. She sees it as lying to her and thinks everything i have ever told her is a lie now. I havent slept for a few days and have to work today. Thats it, i did a PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm)ty thing out of insecurity. I should have shown integrity and told the girl i’d met BPD rather than keeping her on hook in case it didnt work out. I never spoke to her or text her as soon as things got serious with BPD but she doesnt see it that way.

I have been getting non stop messages calling me a PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm)ing liar and how i betrayed her. I feel like i did. She said she doesnt want to break up and is just mad. But i feel that may change.

I dont know what to say to her. I have tried explaining how all my insecurities and how i didnt know if she would break up with me again led to me not closing the door at the time.

What do i do?