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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: shield-me on March 01, 2020, 04:40:27 AM



Title: I'm new here and I suffer having an abusive sibling (domestic abuse)
Post by: shield-me on March 01, 2020, 04:40:27 AM
Hello, I was reading a book called Stop Walking on Eggshells by Mason and Kreger then I found out about this forum. I have been going through abuse hell for several years. My sibling has abused me physically and emotionally. I try to be quiet for the sake of peace. I just cry everyday. I speak to support groups .

The police told me to keep a record of the time, date and incidents when my sibling abuses me.

I just need help on how to cope. I have anxiety, depression and I get panic attacks because of my abusive sibling.


Title: Re: I'm new here and I suffer having an abusive sibling (domestic abuse)
Post by: Harri on March 01, 2020, 06:59:18 PM
Hi and welcome.

I am sorry to hear about your sister and how she abuses you. 

Can you share more with us?  Are you safe now?  Do you live with your sister?  I am just trying to get a better feel for your situation so we can support and guide you better. 

We have a lot of tools here that you can use to help and protect yourself starting with boundaries (https://bpdfamily.com/content/setting-boundaries) and moving on to a safety plan (https://bpdfamily.com/pdfs/safety-first-dv-1.pdf) and many other options.   I would start with the safety plan first.  We can help you with that.

In the meantime, I hope you join us and post in threads, read and just explore the site.  We care and we get it.  You are not alone and you do not have to deal with this by yourself anymore. 

*welcome*


Title: Re: I'm new here and I suffer having an abusive sibling (domestic abuse)
Post by: shield-me on March 06, 2020, 05:19:39 PM
Thank you Harri

My abusive sibling is a male. I have other family members who protect me as best as they can. I started suffering with depression this week. It's a big depression. I just cry a lot because of chaos, delays and the news depresses me too. My abusive brother is sadistic so he laughs at my sadness. My brother always seeks revenge and he is the jealous type. My brother is lucifer in the flesh, I try to pray away the evil vibes whenever my brother is around.


Title: Re: I'm new here and I suffer having an abusive sibling (domestic abuse)
Post by: Ziggiddy on March 08, 2020, 07:24:00 AM
Hi Shield-me
I am so sorry to hear you are in such a painful situation. I feel exquisitely for you as I had the same thing for many many years.
My mother is uBPD and she was violent and my fater was just angry and her tool to use to punish us kids.
But the biggest pain/terror in my life was my brother. I lived in constant gut gnawing fear of him and worst of all, no one thought of it as abuse (not even me)

Whilst the police did advise you to document the abuse (and this is essential) it is not much help in protecting you from it, is it?

May I ask what your living situation is? Are you living at home with parents? Trying to protect you is not the same as protecting you and nobody deserves to be abused. By ANYONE.
I understand your wanting to keep quiet to keep the peace but it's not creating peace for you or inside you is it?

I would join with Harri in asking how safe you are? Is there any way at all of getting to a situation where your brother doesn't have access to you? There may be govt agencies besides the police that you could contact who may help you organise a safety plan.
Please PLEASE don't feel you have to put up with abuse.
Please also give us any more detail you feel you can share for us to give you some support.
Harri has an excellent knowledge of the tools available on this site and it will surely help you find some avenues to improve your safety.
Ziggiddy


Title: Re: I'm new here and I suffer having an abusive sibling (domestic abuse)
Post by: khibomsis on March 11, 2020, 10:38:16 AM
Dear Shield-me, it is the most painful experience when a sibling acts abusively. We're here for you.  :hug:, Khib


Title: Re: I'm new here and I suffer having an abusive sibling (domestic abuse)
Post by: Turkish on March 12, 2020, 11:01:18 PM
How are things recently? What did the police say about what steps to take beyond keeping a log? Have you called a local DV line? You can call anonymously.  Despite police involvement, even limited at this point, you sound isolated and alone, and that's a tough place to be  :hug:

One resource doesn't have to solve an overall problem.  Cops have one roll, courts another, and DV recources and support yet another. Do you think you can make an anonymous call? The YWCA has a lot of recources for women, if you are in the USA. I referred my ex to them once when she had issues and she told me they were helpful.