BPDFamily.com

Hello,
over 6 months ago I've met a girl at work. I really like her and we become some kind of friends. We've never met outside the work, but when we're alone she's like a completely different person. She is from foster and she has been physical and sexual abuse by her foster mother and stepbrother. She told me that she has BPD and she doesn't like to talk about it. I just start reading about it and I order 2 books to get to know her better. I know that it's a very serious mental illness and it cannot be cured.
I've been sexually abused by my father when I was 6 or 8 and I'm a very introverted person so I don't share and I don't talk to people if I don't have to, but I've told her about it. For me, telling her about it was a big deal because I was holding this for myself for over 20 years.
I fell in love with her, but because we're completely different (She is 10 years younger, I'm introvert and she loves talking to people) and she has BPD I'm worried to tell her about my feelings. She is amazing and even if there will be nothing romantic between us I'd like to be the part of her life.
When I was giving her lift to work she told me that people asked her if we're dating because she is practically the only person with who I spoke with at work. And she told me that she treats me like a counsel, mentor, and friend. So I'm pretty sure that she doesn't have romantic feelings towards me but I know that I'm gonna regret for the rest of my life if I won't tell her what I feel.
But the question is, is it a good idea to tell her that I'm in love with her? She has been used by so many people in her life and because of BPD, she might think that I will abandon her or something.
Can anyone give me some advice, please? I'm so confused right now.  :help:

hi Chaus, and *welcome*

so from personal experience, having a serious conversation about where a relationship is going has always tended to backfire on me.

im generalizing here, but for the most part, women tend to prefer to lead that sort of conversation...let you know when theyre interested, or want more.

its possible that she was wondering, herself, when she brought it up. she may sense, on some level, your feelings for her, and be confused about what your relationship is...are you a mentor, counselor, and friend, or someone with whom theres a mutual attraction?

i think itd be a good idea to clarify this for yourself. if youre a mentor, counselor, and friend (kind of a one up situation), then its difficult to be a prospective romantic partner...especially when you work together.