BPDFamily.com

It’s just so hard staying strong and believing in what I feel and think is ‘right.’
My ex, oh how I loved him (if he was indeed him). But I had to leave. He yelled at me more and more over the years about my historical sexual abuse. He hurled it at me time and time again. I came to a point where I gave it to him; you have it...you can have my sexual abuse; it’s yours to do with it what you wish. But I don’t want to hear about it anymore.
He wanted me to proof read his email to my mother. The email detailed everything he though should have happened.
He never heard me say, time and time again, what you are doing is hurting me more than anything that happened in the past. He never heard me say it is you who is hurting me. He never heard me. He never heard my voice. He never heard me.
I left not long after he emailed my mum. Not long after he yelled at me so much simply because I refused to talk about my sexual abuse for one night, in night only.
That was nearly a year ago.
I am the bad guy. I am being selfish. I am being unkind.
My son and I have still not retrieved our belongings. We are waiting for the police to accompany me. Because I do not feel safe to go by myself as he wishes. It is important for me to get our belongings; he has everything we own. I have had to buy new. I have to fight for me and I have to fight for fairness.
It’s just so hard to heal and so hard to remain patient. It’s what I have to do but it’s so hard.

Hey Thornton, It's hard to leave a BPD r/s for a lot of reasons, yet in my view you did the right thing.  You don't deserve to be verbally abused, which is unacceptable.  No, you are not the bad guy, yet you will never convince him otherwise, so why bother?  You and your son are better off.  Suggest you be grateful for getting out of an unhealthy situation.

LuckyJim

Hi Thornton,

Did you get your belongings? Do you have an update to share with us?