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Title: Prove them wrong or let it go? Post by: momtara on March 11, 2020, 07:44:54 PM So my ex is claiming I didn't inform him about something, when the very thing is a few emails down in what he sent me. He's cc'ing our parent coordinator. I can respond and say, "It's actually right down there, three emails down, under this date." Or I can just let it go. Proving him wrong will just anger him. In this case, do you think you'd respond and prove him wrong, or separately tell the PC, or just not respond? Just curious.
The kids are with me this week so I'm not worried about angering him at this very moment, but I don't know if it's worth it to continue the discussion at all. Title: Re: Prove them wrong or let it go? Post by: worriedStepmom on March 12, 2020, 06:35:02 AM If he's cc'd the parent coordinator, I would respond to everyone very briefly. "that information was sent in the email dated XX/YY/2020 at HH:MM am".
Title: Re: Prove them wrong or let it go? Post by: mpacific on March 12, 2020, 08:54:48 AM If he's cc'd the parent coordinator, I would respond to everyone very briefly. "that information was sent in the email dated XX/YY/2020 at HH:MM am". I agree here, if there's a question of something I would definitely respond but agree keep it brief and all parties included. Title: Re: Prove them wrong or let it go? Post by: livednlearned on March 12, 2020, 06:08:02 PM What would happen if you let it go?
I always preferred quoting something instead of using my own language, where possible. Or I sweated out a sentence that was as neutral and devoid of shaming or blaming as humanly possible, knowing that how he responded was a matter of what he was feeling at any given moment. Title: Re: Prove them wrong or let it go? Post by: ForeverDad on March 12, 2020, 07:27:08 PM I saw my (excellent) custody evaluator's preliminary evaluation report which was discussed between lawyers and the court. I had submitted some 200 pages from his therapy notes (it took 3 tries at court and finally a court order to get it) with yellow stickies throughout where I disputed or highlighted ex's abundant false claims. His brief remarks about me included that I would go to an extreme with the details. I think his point was that I was trying too hard to prove myself and I didn't need to go to that extent.
So my suggestion would be to ponder whether your ex or the parenting coordinator need to be informed that his complaint contradicted (or was nullified by) the prior email. It's obvious to you. Would the PC miss noticing the contradicting emails? Title: Re: Prove them wrong or let it go? Post by: Sluggo on March 13, 2020, 11:08:38 PM With the PC on email, I would respond to all stating the date and time of email.
Sluggo |