BPDFamily.com

So I've been 2 1/2 weeks no contact with my ex BPD because she doesn't want to talk unless it's about her stuff still at my place.

Today I went into Wal-Mart at lunch and its packed with everyone panic buying and the shelves are looking empty. I'm now worried about her and her two kids not getting groceries. Do I break no contact out of concern or maintain it.

She works at Wal-Mart but hasn't worked the last few days that this panic has happened.

this seems like it would be reaching out in a way shes expressed shes not open to.

what would you want to say? what would you want to achieve?

I wanted to tell her something like I know she doesn't want to talk to me but I was in Walmart and everyone is panic shopping and the shelves are getting bare and I'm just concerned about her and the kids having groceries for the next few weeks. Tell her if she can that maybe she should go down there and get groceries now.

I was thinking of sending something like that and then going back to no contact. I just worried about her and the kids. A small thought in my mind too was that maybe she would see I do still care about her (she struggles to believe this). My reason though would have been to make sure she knows and gets groceries for her and the kids.

One thing I did notice this time. In the past I struggle with urges to reach out and usually give in and reach out to her. This time a big part of me did not want to reach out. Part of it is fear of her getting angry and being cold and hurtful to me again. I'm afraid at this point of causing more damage and pushing her further away by reaching out.

Another thing I did notice recently. As I stated in my other post, a month ago she did a 180 after I said I was going no contact. We started talking a little bit and then a few days later she did another 180. During the first 180 she unblocked me on Facebook after having me blocked a year and a half. When she blocked me I went in and set pictures of her and I to private. Anticipating a possible friend request, I went in and changed the view settings back to friends and one or two of them to public. I didn't change them after she did her 180 back. During this no contact. I have stayed out of sight as well with the exception of running into her maybe three times in the grocery store. Even then I just go about my business and stay away from her. The other day at Wal-Mart while walking to my car, her and her best friend / coworker we're walking back inside from her vehicle after a break and we're walking right towards me. She of course pretended like I wasn't there like she does. The next day I looked at her Facebook and found that after she seen me she must have changed the settings on a few more of her pictures so that I could see them. Some of them were of quilts she made for my family for Christmas a few years ago, and the others were of my son and I in two pics and her kids and her in two other pics when we went to see one of our faith's new temples.

 I wondered if after seeing me she had looked at my profile and did that in response. I started to change the settings of some more of the pictures of us but then reversed that because I started wondering if she was testing me to see if I was looking at her Facebook and noticing her.

What are your thoughts on that?