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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: CAJon on March 20, 2020, 08:02:03 PM



Title: Looking for hope
Post by: CAJon on March 20, 2020, 08:02:03 PM
Hello,

As my title states I’m looking for hope. My wife was diagnosed about 4 months ago (officially diagnosed)  she has been struggling for about 4 years. Started as a GAD diagnosis, then that couple with alcoholism the that last two years then last year they thought bipolar. . She has been admitted twice in the last 12 months.  The second time was because she was cutting and cut to deep. Just a terrifying moment s She went through group therapy and is currently in DBT. Has a therapist. But a couple weeks ago she broke it off with her sponsor during  alcohol relapse.

I’m feeling alone. I’m feeling helpless. I know can’t cure it and I can’t force her to follow program. I’m hoping there are other ways I can help?

I’m definetly a co-dependent. I’ve been focusing on. My own health as well but feeling just helpless. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Thanks

Jon


Title: Re: Looking for hope
Post by: once removed on March 21, 2020, 04:17:05 AM
hi Jon, and *welcome*

so, the key is understanding and realistic expectations.

recovery from BPD tends to be a long, bumpy road. that can involve lots of starts and stops, or "relapses". these can often take place at times where some of the greatest progress seems evident.

so in general, her breaking things off for now isnt terribly surprising, and there most definitely is hope.

for a romantic partner, its important to assess the role of emotional caretaker, and those realistic expectations. this article was written for parents, about children, but it gives a very good idea of how to approach this: https://bpdfamily.com/content/support-child-therapy

so, how long have the two of you been together? how have things been going since she left therapy? whats going on now?