BPDFamily.com

Hey, I'm in quarantine with my ex with BPD, we get along-ish, I've lost track what phase we're in, she dates others that falls apart, comes back to me ... Cycle repeats.

Anyway, the other night we had crazy sex , like repeatedly all day, we've had this a few times over the last few weeks, she makes me dinner, we chill together etc, but then the other night she had her phone on speaker phone, not sure if it was intentional or an accident as she was a tad stoned, anyway, I heard her chatting up some guy, they were facetime'in, he had his personal tool out, and she had her fun bags... So of course, I was off with her today, then she was like why are you being off with me ?

Erm, hello, this isn't normal ? I feel like exploding I really do, but then she'll pull the whole were not together, what's the issue.

Thing is, if I did the same I know world war 3 would occur .

But then the other day she was discussing birthday gifts for me?


I don't get it, and I don't really get her .

Help and advice please.  :help:

people with bpd and other personality disorders don't really tap into empathy.   Studies have shown that they can be asked to have empathy and I believe that is where DBT comes into play but in general they have double standards because they tend to be self focused.  So that's why if you did the same thing it would be considered "mirroring" and she would see herself in you.  Showing a partner with bpd what they really look like by "mirroring" behavior is definitely ww3 because they don't typically want to see themselves or their behavior.   

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries,  - don't leave home without them -  Jeff Brown