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It's now the next morning from my daughter's episode last night I just called the hospital to see how she is she's calm doesn't understand why she's there tells the nurse that she's got responsibilities but my question to everyone is and I would appreciate if someone could help me with this how do I protect my 11 year old son from her behaviour and her meanest and uncontrollable anger so how do I protect him and protect her all the same time without her living in my house does anybody have any help

Psychotic episodes are scary, I'm so sorry you and your S11 had to witness (and be the target of) one and feel unsafe in your own home.

Being hospitalized can be an opportunity for many BPD sufferers to get a diagnosis. Are you able to talk to anyone caring for her, to find out if a psych eval is an option? When will D21 be released?

How is your son doing today?

Does he talk to you about his sister's behavior?

Hello Overwhelmed73

I join Livednlearned in reaching out to you to say so,  so sorry about what is happening in your house because of your daughter.  Indeed it sounds like she is out of control, has taken the reins and is running with them.  To be so intoxicated and so violent that she had to be hospitalized, then to wake up the next morning saying she has no memory of why she there is a head-shaker.

First and foremost, Overwhelmed73, your safety and that of your 11-year old son is the most important thing.  Her threats to kill you and him have to be take seriously.   To take her anger out on your son's innocent pet is disturbing...a red flag. red-flag

I have read through your previous posts and I am lead to believe that your daughter has not been officially diagnosed as having a mental illness but you recognize some of the traits.  There are lots of us here, me included, who share that same kind of story.

You write..."they will not do anything until she is sober at which point a crisis worker will come and speak to her"...also tells me that what happened last night has happened at least once before.

You write that your daughter is 21 and questions come to my mind.  Has she ever lived out on her own?  Does she have a job or are you having to support her?  Do you have other family support?

As heartbreaking as it may sound to even think about choosing between your children,  your 11-yr old son has to be thought of first.  He is being exposed to violent behaviour and he can well learn from it.  He needs/deserves a safe environment in which to live.

There are no quick fixes to this, Overwhelmed73.  Any/all decisions about how to proceed are yours.  With that said, I hope you continue to use this forum as a sounding board.  YOU need to be heard...validated...encouraged to make changes that need to start happening.

Many, many ((HUGS)  :hug: to you, fellow Mom.   At the best of times what you and the rest of us here have to deal with  in regards to our troubled children is difficult...but even more so now with the times forced upon us.

Huat :heart:

Wow thank you both responding. I have tears just knowing I have been heard.
My daughter was actually formed as far as I know and was taken for an assessment.  I hope she receives the help and resources she deserves . As for son I was able.to get him an hr with a therapist over.the ph yesterday which was help . I have advised my daughter that she is not able.to come back. She did call last night - crying and saying how sorry she was and that it wont happen again . Which yes from past experiences she has done and said before. There unfortunately is no family or friends that could house her but my mom is willing to have her go there for a night or 2 until she could find her way into a shelter situation.  She has lived on her own before with roommates and did so very successfully for almost 3 yrs
It's only really been in the last yr that everything has really ramped up. She has had 3 concussions all within 6-8 months of eachother.  2 car accidents and 1 domestic violence.  She has always and continues to have a full time.job. from what I've been reading she is considered high functioning bpd. The other piece is that I've actually looked back and noticed these episodes happen about every 6 weeks. Does anyone else notice a specific pattern with their loved one?
I currently am on constant alert for the last 2 days not knowing if she will just show up or what is happening because of her age i am not able.to receive any real information on her . I am just praying the physiatrist that will see her today will be able to call so I can give my side and hopefully then they would have a fuller picture- not just her side of the situation (which she doesn't remember) most of it.
The other question I have is or maybe not a ? But more of an awareness.  That night she completely at 1 moment became another person with what she was saying,facial expressions, and completely inappropriate sexual behaviour  , even her laugh - I've never seen that before.
Sorry this was such a.long response. But there's so much more even but that's it for now.