BPDFamily.com

Well we are in a break up mode. Things cannot go on as they have done. I hung in there a lot of years because of not wanting the kids to be alone with him (on visits) and wanting to be a buffer. But things have gotten too bad where his tone with me is like I'm a fly; an irritant, and I can't tolerate that, and his total lack of participation in the household causes me resentment... At any rate we decided to separate (under the same roof) and I have stuck with it for a month now... I've gotten some clarity and feel more ready to talk with him but he's quite avoidant and so I won't approach. I'm tired of always being the one to build a bridge and I just won't do it again unless there's some reason to expect sizeable change. Is there any chance of him having a change of heart and realizing his family is really beautiful or will an actual separation occur  (after pandemic) naturally? We have no money and no assets to fight over... He's said that he doesn't want the kids to grow up hearing us fighting, I'm not a bad person but it just doesn't work between us, and he wishes he had never immigrated here, the kids will be okay they're not babies anymore. So all that sounds pretty final. I know you all care more about what I think; I just really want our family to be intact and I want him to improve himself and be a better man. I don't want my kids to suffer. But obviously I'm stuck in a wish, it's just not reality based. I begged him to go home two years ago for six months and he refused. Now more bad times have passed and it really seems hopeless.

find 5 things you are grateful for.
Write them down.tomorrow do the same thing.
You are in attitude crisis mode.