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Title: First Post Post by: Tolarius on May 04, 2020, 10:30:08 AM Good Morning Everyone,
I have been in a very difficult relationship for a couple of years now. We are married, both have our own child from previous relationships, and a child of our own. I go to therapy myself for Bipolar 2, and anxiety, so it's a real stew of mental health issues. After expressing to my therapist that I feel constantly under attack, under the microscope, and feel like things can go from paradise to hell in an instant, he suggested I read the "Walking on Eggshells" book. He did diagnose my wife with BPD, but thought based off my feedback, she exhibited a lot of habits of someone that would be diagnosed with BPD. I have been working on trying not get to upset when I feel like it is unjustified and I feel like I need to defend myself. I have learned over and over trying to assert myself in the moment seems to just trigger my wife more. I just want to know what are some things you have done that have provided quick results? Title: Re: First Post Post by: once removed on May 05, 2020, 02:32:18 AM hi Tolarius, and *welcome*
Excerpt After expressing to my therapist that I feel constantly under attack, under the microscope, and feel like things can go from paradise to hell in an instant, he suggested I read the "Walking on Eggshells" book. we get it, for sure, that paradise to hell in an instant dynamic, especially. a huge amount of us came here as a result of reading WOE. Excerpt I have been working on trying not get to upset when I feel like it is unjustified and I feel like I need to defend myself. I have learned over and over trying to assert myself in the moment seems to just trigger my wife more. I just want to know what are some things you have done that have provided quick results? youre caught in a rock and a hard place, and it may feel like nothing you do "works"...or maybe even, some things "work" and then no longer work :( there is hope, and things definitely can get better. regarding quick results...your relationship didnt get here over night. it wont be fixed over night. youve found a support group. you can learn new tools, skills, ways of thinking, and if you apply yourself, you can really turn this relationship around. it will take practice and consistency. theres going to be some trial and error. why dont we take a recent example of where things went (or are going) off the rails for the two of you? |