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Title: BPD Ex Girlfriend Won't Stop Flirting Post by: stressed_out28 on May 06, 2020, 06:00:39 AM A little background: me and my ex met online and after about a month of talking to each other started a long distance relationship. The relationship lasted approximately 3 months before she broke up with me for a reason I still don't understand at all. I didn't even know she broke up with me until I saw that she changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. We have a lot in common however so we decided to stay in each others lives and just remain friends. I knew she had BPD and suffered some trauma in her past so I didn't take the surprise breakup to hard, I guessed that she was becoming uncomfortable with how close we where getting. I also knew how much she suffered from fear of abandonment and I cared for her so I didn't want her to feel that way with me. Long story short, we ended up talking everyday, sometimes for hours on end, she even called me nicknames like babe and baby and still wanted me to visit her and have a physical relationship. In everything but the label we where in a romantic relationship with each other again and I found myself getting sucked back in. I'm almost positive that I had also become her "favorite person".
The issue however is she is constantly flirting with other people and telling me about it (she's very attractive and has no problems finding people to flirt with). She makes me feel like I'm just one of her many options but continues to call me and want to talk to me more than anyone else. I've gotten mad about it before and hung up on her many times when she started talking about flirting and wanting to hook up with other people. She would stop but, after a few days she would start again describing how attractive and perfect a person is and how "in love" she was with them knowing that I have no right to say anything because she's not my girlfriend. Last night she got drunk and called me while simultaneously texting and calling a whole bunch of other people. She would flirt with them and then describe what they said back to her while on the phone with me. After a while of hearing how she was making plans to meet various people I hung up. I don't know why she's doing this to me. I try not to take it too personally because I know on that on some level she can't control certain things but its getting harder and harder to not let it affect me. Can anyone give me some advise as to what to do? I'm lost. Title: Re: BPD Ex Girlfriend Won't Stop Flirting Post by: Rev on May 06, 2020, 07:00:08 AM Last night she got drunk and called me while simultaneously texting and calling a whole bunch of other people. She would flirt with them and then describe what they said back to her while on the phone with me. After a while of hearing how she was making plans to meet various people I hung up. I don't know why she's doing this to me. I try not to take it too personally because I know on that on some level she can't control certain things but its getting harder and harder to not let it affect me. Can anyone give me some advise as to what to do? I'm lost. Hello my friend, Tough times right now - biggest question to ask is that during these times of pandemic is what factor do these times play in our behavior. Her behavior sounds very reckless. And you are not living in normal times either. Most advice that you would normally find doesn't apply in the same way. The short answer is to block her. The longer question is to figure out what may be bubbling up in you that has laid dormant for a while. Isolation for any period of time will inevitably unearth feelings and baggage that has been dormant for a while. Thoughts? And before I sign off, let me say "welcome"! You've come to a really great and supportive place. Be well. Rev |