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Title: 10 years in and I still love my wife as much as ever...But Post by: VillageIdiot on May 06, 2020, 08:04:55 PM I'm tired...this is the very first time I have reached out, though I have done a bunch of quora searches and other passive coping research. I have been inspired to redirect the recent attempts I have been making to keep my wife happy during the quarantine. So far I have only taken one step...I printed out some creative (partially plagiarized) infographics that I presented to her and myself as a good starting off point for coping with the "quarantine"... She knows what she is and I feel I have spurred some emotional growth over the years, but if I am being honest, she has probably changed me more than I have changed her. Full disclosure: I have a few issues myself, including mania, that if uncontrolled for too long, leads to delusion and seizures. Since the quarantine began, I have developed a bit of generalized anxiety and had a few panic attacks. I think it is because I am more aware of the level severity of her illness as she has lost many of her "outlets" and I have attempted to become everything she wants with little success...So, redirecting energy... thoughts? (https://i.imgur.com/6SDSY8Y.png) (https://i.imgur.com/t3BEihT.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/ZW3jx4z.png) (https://i.imgur.com/PeGeLSi.png) (https://i.imgur.com/uZPehja.png) Title: Re: 10 years in and I still love my wife as much as ever...But Post by: once removed on May 07, 2020, 11:30:21 PM hi VillageIdiot, and *welcome*
so, learning better communication techniques is great. Excerpt I printed out some creative (partially plagiarized) infographics that I presented to her and myself as a good starting off point for coping with the "quarantine" the problem will be if you are using them like a script. your partner will see right through that. it wont work. it will make things worse. learning new communication techniques, like any of the tools, is inherently awkward at first. most of us tend to sound robotic, or dismissive, or condescending, like we are trying to speak to our partner with "therapist speak". its kind of like learning a new format within the same essay youve been writing all your life. its going to be awkward and forced at first. eventually, you master it, and it becomes natural. to that end, thats the plus side, where things will tend to go better. lets start with the basics. where are the two of you having trouble communicating? |