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So April 3rd I decided to stay away from Walmart where my ex works and Shop at the only other grocery store in our town. I also started to take a different route to work so I did not have to drive past her apartment complex.

Yesterday I had to go into Walmart to get some items that the other grocery store did not carry. Two of the items happened to be in the pharmacy section where she works. The one aisle I had to get an item from was in direct view of her back in the pharmacy. As I was getting my item my son's girlfriend came around the corner and started chatting with me. As I was chatting with her I noticed my ex kept looking around the co-worker standing in front of her to see me. She would look and then look back to what she was doing and then a few seconds later look again. She did this three or four times and after my son's girlfriend left I looked directly at her and when she looked at me again she look me directly in the eyes as I did her and I waved at her. She turned away and went back to what she was doing without waiving. It really did not hurt me because this is exactly what I expected her to do.

I do have to say however, I do feel good about this. I realized yesterday that part of my healing I have decided to not hold on to  hurt or resentment. Did it hurt? Of course it did. Am I going to let it change me from being the caring person I am? No. I will still wave and smile. I have decided if she chooses to hold onto resentment and hurt and be cold to me that is her choice and she has to deal with that. All I can control is who I am and how I act. I feel good about this.

I have done reading in the recent past about how most of our communication is through non-verbal actions and body language. I found yesterday interesting how she kept looking over at me every few seconds. She was definitely curious about me or something. Not just one glance and seeing it was me and then going back to what she was doing without thinking anything about it.