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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Woolspinner2000 on May 08, 2020, 09:15:22 PM



Title: A.very long day
Post by: Woolspinner2000 on May 08, 2020, 09:15:22 PM
The end is in sight. I keep reminding myself, trying to not get my hopes up, to just keep going forward. Our house has an accepted offer, we made it through the inspection negotiations, and closing is May 29.

With the whole Covid 19 situation, our county court has put a stay until the end of May on all dissolution and divorce hearings, even though we filed the dissolution papers mid March. I reached out to my attorney since our house is sold, and late yesterday afternoon he called and said the court has an opening next Thursday via Zoom. I forwarded the information on to my husband and thought we were all set.

First thing this morning I get a text from DH that he has decided to retain his own counsel, even though he signed off almost 2 months ago, recognizing that my attorney represented me and not both of us, and that he agreed to the terms of the dissolution agreement. Here we were, within days of finalizing the divorce and he decides to do this. I was in tears.

By the end of the day, several emails had gone out to DH's attorney (none were returned) and 3 or 4 phone calls came from my attorney to update me (he was considering emergency documents and who knows what else), all due to the new drama. Nothing was accomplished because DH called at the end of the day and said his attorney said the documents are fine. So he decided he no longer needed his attorney. We are back where we started less than 24 hours ago.

Did I mention that DH's second text to me was to say I had moved the clothes dryer. What? I don't live there. I wonder if he is creating drama to create drama. Or maybe he has to be in control and have the last say? It's not even worth it to try and understand. I am so tired tonight.

I don't want to become bitter (I'm not), but I am feeling some pretty strong angry feelings. My attorney costs just went up several hundred dollars today because of this. My emotions went on a major roller coster ride, and I don't need this kind of trauma triggering. I know how many days it is until the hearing (yes, I'm counting now), if DH signs the paperwork on Monday.

I guess this is helping me to emotionally separate from him. 

Wools


Title: Re: A.very long day
Post by: JNChell on May 08, 2020, 11:44:10 PM
Wools,  :hug:  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:.

Happy to hear that things are almost there for you. You’ve endured so much. This sounds like a last ditch effort at trying to retain control on his part. Maybe just let him drain himself of that and allow the legalities of the situation to run their course. The Covid-19 situation has been such a set back for so much.

Being triggered is a really  :cursing: feeling. I’m sorry that you’re experiencing those feelings once again. I’ve never forgotten how you have been one of the members here that have always come to my aid. I’ve shown up here severely triggered more than once. I also remember some really good advice and knowledge that you shared with me. Sitting with our feelings. Sit there, breathe and let the feelings wash over you. They will pass. Much respect, and take care. :hug: