BPDFamily.com

 :help:  I've gone as far as I can go with my daughter.  She has been somewhat "diagnosed" by her doctor based on her behavior and conversation.  A previous doctor said she suspected she was bi-polar.  Upon my research, it appears to be more BPD than bi-polar, but whatever the case, there is a problem. :help:
She goes into rages about the simplest thing.  She turns into a monster, her eyes bulge and she begins blowing and sweating like the Incredible Hulk!  She threatens me often, calls me names, and has struck me.  She has 1 year of sobriety.  She now wants to arm and be ready for the "white niggas" who are arming up and getting ready for revolt.  She used to call me prejudiced, but now she "doesn't trust white people". 

On a good day, when we notice personality traits that link her to BPD, she recognizes them and starts to laugh.  She doesn't take her condition seriously.  I am 69 years old and had a mom and dad who developed Alzheimer's so everything that happens, any time I forget something and admittedly, I forget much; any time I don't understand something, and I don't comprehend the way I did a few years ago, she flies into a rage and tells me I'm either ""stupid or the generational curse has taken affect."    The friends that she once had are practically all gone.  She says she has nothing in common with them any more and that's true to a point, but it's also because she can't get along with anybody.

When she was a teen-ager, I took her to counseling sessions for her anger issues.  The counselor told me then that she needed to be on medication.  I felt that the counselor was exaggerating things, but I see now that she needs something to mellow her out.  She has stopped smoking cigarettes, but she smokes weed and vapes.

Today, we were going shopping and as she was backing into the parking space, she commented "this car is backing up at the same time".  When I looked up, I looked over to the car that was next to us and commented "ooh, you're close to that car".  She flew into a rage and started yelling "didn't you hear me say that that car was backing up?"  She was pointing to another car.  When I told her I didn't see her point to any car, she yelled "that's because you weren't looking at me.  Wouldn't you think that when I say 'LOOK', you would look?  You do the same dumb PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm) over and over, as she started to pound the steering wheel. Her next statement was "Do you want me to call a ride for you to go home or should I call a ride for me to go grocery shopping?"  "Call a ride for you to go grocery shopping" I told her.  She then yelled "give me the money".  When I told her I didn't have any money, she snatched my purse and said "give me the PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm)in' card and I'm going to several stores".  She opened the door and stormed out of the car, so I drove off.  About 5 minutes later, she called and bellowed "did you just leave me?"  I told her "I thought that's what you wanted, you said you didn't want to be with me any more and was going to call a ride for one of us, so why would I remain?"  "Bitch, it's on now, you're dumb as PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm).  I've got your card so I hope you paid your mortgage, because I'm gonna have a good time"  I turned around and went back to see her walking.  As I tried to reason with her, she ignored me and again made mention of the good time she was going to have with my card.  I told her "OK" and immediately went to the bank to block use of the card. 

I don't know where she is.  She only has keys to the back door but I doubt if she knows where her key to the gate is.  I've called her since then and after several times of not answering the phone, she answered and said "what?"  When I tried to reason with her, she very calmly and softly said "I have nothing to say".  I thought things would get better when she stopped drinking, but things are getting worse.  I fear that she's either going to hurt me or I'm going to hurt her.

I feel so much for you in this situation. And so many people here can identify with your pain, grief and frustration. I've been dealing with something similar for around 15 years - the past 5 years compounded by ice use. What a journey it has been! One of the things that helped me was just coming to this site and reading that other people were going through the same thing. Every situation is different of course, but dealing with the rages, the inability to communicate and waiting for the phone to ring with the next crisis are all things that we share. For me, it helped so much just to know there are other people out there going through the same thing. It made me feel not so alone . . .