BPDFamily.com

 :help:
My 38 year-old daughter was diagnosed with BPD In 2014 on top of a diagnosis of OCD which she got as a teen. In addition she suffers from severe anxiety, lack of self-esteem and sense of self and in recent times has convinced herself that she has reverted back to a 4-year old.
Two years ago she gave birth to our first grandchild and the mental health issues that she had been grappling with over the previous 20 years got so much worse.
She has no confidence whatsoever in her ability to be a mother and is nervous, anxious and uptight with her daughter. Nine months after our granddaughter was born my daughter’s husband left her and took my granddaughter with him. He moved back in with his parents. Soon after, my daughter moved in with my wife and me. (We live 1000km from my son-in-law).
That was 10 months ago.
Our daughter has never really engaged in therapy. Medication has seemingly been ineffective. She doesn’t believe that anyone understands her and doesn’t understand how the strategies that she is given can possibly help her. She now says that there’s no point in therapy because no one can help her. She knows that she is unwell and tells us that she hates living with us and wants to get back to her daughter and husband but she is a total mess and is out of control.
Living with her is stressing us all out. I’m constantly treading on eggshells. She can explode at any moment and, at times, she seems to actually WANT confrontation. Most days she’s in bed in her room all day and all night. Once or twice a week she might get in to her car and drive off somewhere for a couple of hours. She often doesn’t communicate with us and does everything to avoid us. Most of the time it’s horrible living with her. Occasionally, she’ll have a few days where she’s “good” (by her standards) and she’ll be civil and want to do something with us like hit a tennis ball or join us for dinner.
As I said, she believes that no one understands her because there is no one like her. Lately, all her reasons for behaving as she does revolve around her “belief” that she’s regressed to being a child!
Can anyone on this site relate to what I’m describing?
Any advice?
Is there a website for sufferers of BPD who can compare notes in the hope that knowing she is not alone might help her?
Thanks
PS. We live in Australia.

Hello there!
I am sorry for your situation and the feeling that you are "stuck".
I wouldn't have anything to say about the belief that your daughter has turned into a 4 year old. BUT research from The McLean Hospital points out that BPD is a serious disease, from which it is possible to recover and live a good life.
I live in Europe, but find most material (books, podcasts, research) to come from USA.
Here are som of my sources for hope (my daughter is pt not in any treatment):
From Borderline to Beautiful (podcasts by Rose Skeeter, who is recovered from BPD and now is coaching people with BPD)
The Mighty (an app with groups also for people with BPD, some well-functioning, some not so well-functioning)
Valerie Porr's book: Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder (great book for family members)
Charlie Swensons podcasts, "To Hell and Back", in cooperation with NEABPD (an american organisation. Also, take a look at their webinars!)
Your daughter should get some therapy. Could you try to find someone who knows a thing or two about BPD? It seem to still be a stigmatized condition, although it shouldn't be.