BPDFamily.com

 :help:

My girlfriend breaks up with me once or twice a month. It has caused a lot of mistrust.

She has a serious gambling addiction and has lost over 2 million dollars. This might sound like an untruth, but she creates bitcoin scams to steal money from people so that she can gamble.

She tries to control her drinking, but you can see that it sometimes becomes a problem, not as bad as the gambling but its used to soothe, rather than just for fun.
She often asks me to try and fine her other hard drugs like coke.
She has an eating disorder wherein sometimes binge eats thousands and thousands of calories at a time, or goes days without eating
her weight fluctuates between under weight and over weight.

She gets really paranoid about her scam activities and thinks people are hiding in her bushes

Her feelings seem to be facts to her. She can misinterpret a loving gesture for something malicious and no amount of defending myself matters, in fact it makes her even angrier I wont "admit i was being passive aggressive"

She has no friends left, they have all blocked her and have gone no contact they refuse to speak to her because of her toxic behaviors.
She cannot keep a normal job, and does not get along with or like any co workers when she does have a job.

She has a huge mistrust for all cops, and big pharm" Extremely vocal about being anti vax and how the DSMV is made up, and yet when it is convenient for her to attack me, she claims I have BPD. Most recently after her latest breakup drama I decided to go no contact. I am tired of the back and forth game.

She sent me several emails from several new email addresses bragging about how she convinced people I am crazy, and called me names like crazy and retarded but also told me she cares about me and misses me.


Most recently she has gone on a campaign to convince people that *I* Have bpd, though I see a psychiatrist who does not think I do. I have many close and very stable friendships from childhood, I prettymuch never have drama or fights with my friends. My co workers adore me. I am always fighting for this relationship, I dont break up with or push away my partner, ever.

My closest friend from childhood does not think I have BPD But does think my partner does,

I guess I'm curious based on my description what people maybe more experienced with this think

Thank you.

I forgot to add, she also has angry outbursts with yelling, at me, or road rage at another car, or about something on facebook etc

*welcome*

From your description, it's possible she has BPD.  It's undeniable that she has many "traits" associated with BPD (and similar personality disorders).

I would encourage you to focus on how you understand and respond to her "traits" (dysfunctional actions) than figuring out if her "BPD" is diagnosable .

What do you want for the future of your relationship?

I hope you can stick around BPDfamily and learn some new relationship skills.  What do you think?

Best,

FF

thanks for your response ff

Its a great response, one I wish the people my partner speaks to about me gave tp her
. Rather than ask her to consider her part to play her response to things she didnt like  etc she is just using their armchair diagnosis of me, based on her description as a means to shift the blame for all our relationship problems onto me and not accept any responsibility for herself.

I have always acknowledged that I need some work and have offered for us to get relationship councelling or to read books or watch things that can teach us how to react and communicate more effectively.

Her only interest in the bpd diagnosis is to point fingers away from herself and onto me.

Whenever I point out that she too, has the traits for bpd and that this is an US problem and not a ME problem, she gets extremely defensive and accuses me of not taking responsibility (the irony here is.. too much)

tbh Im not interested in this any more.

If shes not willing to look at her part to play and to re learn some of her own reactions, triggers, traits, etc then I sure as hell am not interested either.

thanks again