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Title: Sharing dishonestly Post by: juju2 on June 04, 2020, 02:59:29 PM Hi everyone
so I have been in a weird limbo for a long time. Today after praying, to my Higher Power to reveal what I need to know even if it hurts me, I found out he-pwBPD-has been sharing dishonestly with me. He shares a house a his former g.f., he said they don't sleep together. Today is asked again, is that true. He said we only have one bedroom, we sleep in same bed and its not cuddly or anything. We are meeting up one more time as usual. I asked him what makes him see me, he has someone.? He says it's not happy there, he isn't happy and she will be moving. he wants to be with me. He says the virus is settling down and she can find a place. I told him, as it is, we can't have anything together...i asked him, do you know what I am doing.? He said you are in limbo, in a hurting place. That's all I have, he did describe exactly how it is for me. I told him that I am getting rid of my texting app, and after Monday I won't be available. somehow I feel relief that the dishonesty has been shared with me. all there is now is for me to follow thru. I get the feeling he needs my support to follow thru on having her move. He is a quiet bpd. he is adverse to fighting, being harsh, going against another person... he hates arguing. He says all there is is arguing, she picks fights, and he never smiles and doesn't want to go home. You guys know that this has been a long road. I guess I am just sharing, venting. I feel sad for him. thats all I have. Title: Re: Sharing dishonestly Post by: juju2 on June 05, 2020, 07:50:03 AM Hi family
so I have a new sponsor and we start at the beginning of the steps. I am in between step 2 and step 3. At step 2 I asked my Higher Power to also have my relationship w so wBPD. Since I did that a lot of things coming up. I had confidence to ask about living situation. He insists how unhappy, unworkable, horrible it all is, how he needs to get as much money as possible to move her out. So step 2 is about accepting a Higher Power could restore myself to sanity. Accepting is part of the step. Giving up my ego, position, opinion, becoming like a student. It's huge about trust. And having all of these am moving towards step 3, making a decision to turn my will and my life over to God, as we understood him. this time it feels different. I feel more in to it. More available. Raw. Peace and kindness j |