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Title: Why won't he leave? Post by: Feelfreeonme on June 13, 2020, 09:55:31 PM I am attempting to leave my husband of 2 years because he is at the discard stage and he will not get help.
I am seasoned to his behaviors due to having a past relationship with someone else who appears to also have borderline personality disorder. I am so sad but not completely wounded. I'm just curious why won't he leave our home if he is so unhappy. I don't argue and I actually admit to my wrong doings. Why stay? I am self aware, love him dearly, understand why I was drawn to him in the first place and I know I will miss him.. however, I also know it is over..but why won't he leave?..is this punishment or what? Title: Re: Why won't he leave? Post by: daze507 on June 14, 2020, 03:06:26 AM It's hard to tell but as you may already know, pwBPD hate being alone. He may simply not have anyone else, yet.
Title: Re: Why won't he leave? Post by: Lucky Jim on June 15, 2020, 02:09:46 PM Hey Feelfree, Welcome! As daze suggests, it's difficult to say. I concur that fear of abandonment is often at the heart of most BPD behavior. Those w/BPD make all kinds of threats, yet rarely follow through on them.
At the risk of sounding critical, and I don't mean it that way, I would suggest that it's not up to him to leave; rather, it's up to you to end things. In other words, you are not a victim of his decisions. It's your call. Waiting for a pwBPD to change or leave can be a thankless vigil. What would you like to see happen? Do what you have to do to carry it out. I'm not going to sugarcoat it: leaving a pwBPD is challenging on many levels, yet I'm here to confirm that it can be done. LJ |