BPDFamily.com

Hi all

So it appears when my husband took our daughter to her therapy he had a run in with the psychologist who felt scared and intimidated...initially she was going to testify about whats going on with the kids vis a vis the fathers treatment of them and now she says she wont testify but has informed the GAL and the social investigator (yes we have both- there are 4 mental health professionals involved in this one...)...has anyone faced this issue before? I think its super important the judge hear what happened to the psychologist...he has done this to me and to my mom and now the psychologist...if he hasn't done it yet to the kids its just a matter of time...does anyone have advice? Im waiting to talk to the psychologist to understand why she is pulling back and how i can protect the kids if she is doing this...

Many counselors and therapists are very reluctant to testify in court, some even make the parents agree they won't call the T into court.  All these professionals try to avoid a peeved or rampaging client make allegations to the certification boards of whatever claimed misconduct.

However, when there is a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) or a custody evaluator (CE) they can often consult and get background information from the therapists or counselors to include or blend into their recommendations to the court.  I think that is what she's indicating to you?  Perhaps you can find a way to query the GAL or CE to confirm they received the information?

Your ex sounds very similar to mine. Seemingly high functioning (mine was a former trial attorney), no real desire for physical visitation but hell bent on having legal custody (control), and not smart about fighting with professionals involved.

My ex fought with every therapeutic professional we had, including the parenting coordinator (child psychologist), my son's therapist, a psychiatrist who dx'd him with ADHD, and a school psychologist. When your ex starts to treat professionals the way he treated you, people sit up a little and pay attention. It's not uncommon for spouses to fight, but to pick fights with professionals shows that this person cannot control his impulses. My ex even picked a fight with the judge, accusing him of lying (about having back surgery, of all things  :()

As for the child therapist, she had us sign a waiver that we would not ask her to testify in court, but she did confer with the parenting coordinator, and the PC eventually testified in court, using the T's views as further evidence that ex was not able to appropriately parent.


My ex threatened to file complaints with the professional associations of anyone he dealt with, and went through with his threats (altho they went nowhere to my knowledge). Even if those professionals have malpractice insurance, it's still very stressful (as many of us know) to get in the ring with our exes. It makes a lot of sense to me why professionals pull back, although it's not what we want. The fact she discussed things with the GAL and social investigator (haven't heard of that one before) means a lot and the fact she's pulling back out of fear of retribution is a powerful statement in and of itself.

It might not seem like it when we're in it, but the stories our exes are telling everyone about themselves is pretty clear. The aggravation is that we have to go through the motions and people behave extra carefully so that your ex doesn't become dangerous. The judge cannot appear to have favorites so there are a lot of t's to cross and i's to dot. It may feel like you're losing but when you look at the actual ruling, you're winning. And unfortunately, the more you win, the harder your ex will fight because to someone with narcissistic traits, there is nothing worse.