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Title: No Verbal Boundaries question Post by: PSR on June 20, 2020, 03:14:33 PM Hello,
My son committed suicide in November 2019, My Wife continually suggests my actions caused this. ( not sure however I strongly believe she has BPD ). This morning when I got out of the shower, I tossed my hat on our bed. She saw it and said " Well... You have successfully made one of our kids go away, why not add one more " -- Statements like this just seem to me , should be totally off limits. Please let me know if my instincts are correct? I have dealt with these issues so long, I do not recognize right from wrong. SR Title: Re: No Verbal Boundaries question Post by: ForeverDad on June 20, 2020, 05:10:33 PM Marriage ought to be a source for comfort and consolation, not emotional daggers. Then real life inserts itself and especially acting out PDs (such as Borderline and other Cluster B disorders) can heighten the pain.
We're sorry for your loss. Besides her other mental health issues, your spouse is using Blame, Blame Shifting and verbal attacks to hurt and not to heal. Others will soon comment also but I'd strongly recommend you get consultations with experienced counselors or therapists who can help you deal with not only your grief (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=292033.0;all) but also the marital discord and pain. Right now you're in a subjective state of mind and you'll surely benefit with objective perspectives from in-person sessions, in addition to our remote but excellent peer support. You can also search the internet for the Five Stages of Grieving a Loss. Title: Re: No Verbal Boundaries question Post by: Panda39 on June 20, 2020, 06:44:55 PM Hi PSR,
I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your son, I can only image the pain of that loss. Your wife's outbursts are way out of line and must only add to the pain you already feel. I hope you realize her behaviors are all about her and nothing about you. I'm sorry she is incapable of being supportive, I hope you have other friends and family that are able to be there for you. Take Care :hug: Panda39 |