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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: rjn_88 on June 20, 2020, 08:25:30 PM



Title: How to encourage my wife with BPD to go back to get help
Post by: rjn_88 on June 20, 2020, 08:25:30 PM
SO... maybe I'm wrong but my wife might be the most self righteous people I've ever met. It might be due to her BPD, it might be just the fact that she's a libra, or both. I have been in therapy for my own mental health issues for many years and my wife is new to her diagnosis (BPD) and new to therapy (DBT). She has been in family therapy before and done crisis based DBT. Due to the COVID-19 virus her DBT Groups have been moved to digital and her self righteous personality has led her to think that the online groups are worthless and not helpful and that she can help herself since she has been through the program before. While i do believe in her ability to help herself, I don't see her doing any of the work. Due to her BPD she can get triggered and set off so easily that I don't want to tell her I think she should be doing therapy. Honestly the last thing I want to be doing is tell this woman what to do or how to live her life because she will likely get set off. Even though she does that to me all the time, all i want to learn is how, as her spouse, i can encourage her to get help without her ripping me to shreds because she's triggered. Anyways, thankful for these groups, i'm sure I'll be back. BEST AND PEACE BE WITH YOU RJN


Title: Re: How to encourage my wife with BPD to go back to get help
Post by: Football2000 on June 24, 2020, 05:23:31 PM
Wish I could help you. Just chiming in to say I get it. I feel like talking to my partner is like speaking a different language on a different planet. The triggering thing is especially hard. Not sure what to do about that myself. I know a lot of it has to do with setting boundaries, and be ready for your partner to leave if you do set boundaries.

Honestly, that is my biggest problem. I love my partner and I am really scared I will never see them again, but despite that fear you have to be brave and set your boundaries anyway! I am still working on that though.