BPDFamily.com

Hi all, I'm back in this situation again.

My "gf/exgf" if you follow my previous posts you'll understand that terminology, had a serious wobble a few weeks ago, everything got to much and she took an overdose and was admitted to a+e.

She was released after a day but seemed more distant, she ended up spending alot of time at friends houses after she returned, so I could tell it was going to PLEASE READ (https://bpdfamily.com/safe-site.htm).

Anyway, on Saturday , she up sticks and left while I was at work, she got a few more bits today, and she's staying in a house share with friends.

Anyway, I've held off messaging her atm, but I really want to :(

I just don't know if this will be the end this time.

Before / during her break down she said please let me go , but she said she keeps returning as she loves me.

This is probably the fourth time she's left.

I just don't know what to do.

I do want to message her though, but at the same time, I want her to realise this isn't ok. :(

Everytime she does this, it hurts me.


Do you think she'll come back, should I give her space and let her message me, a week ago she messaged me saying marry her...

Well, last night I posted a picture on my Snapchat story, and she sent a Snapchat back, she also sent me another general Snapchat today.

Is she reaching out to me, or just giving me a few crumbs so I stay involved just incase her new venture doesn't go well and she has to move back here ? :(

So she's still been messaging me and sending me random snaps, she came yesterday and collected a few more bits and pieces, I can't tell if this is the end or not :( it's hard to say, there's still a lot of her stuff here, put it this way, if she changed her mind as she's done in the past, she could just slide back here as if nothing has happened, would this be normal ?

She's gone and came back at least 4 times in the last 4 years.

I'm just hurting so bad right now, was only a few weeks ago she was dropping hints of marriage.

Today she sent me a Snapchat of her in the lounge of her new house share, with the words, " I'm bored "

Is she just drip feeding me enough to keep me on the burner whilst away incase it all goes to crap ?

Another pressing issue is what happens if she gets pregnant while away, I don't know how I'd cope with that situation. I don't think I could take her back if that happened :(

I couldn't help myself yesterday, and left her a soppy letter, telling her how much I do love and care for her, and how she was my world. I don't know if that will help the situation

I also suggested we could go to the cinema or something, she replied yes we can "as friends", it was pretty much the same conversation we had last year, saying we could do things as friends, but then we ended up living back together.

Anyway, I posted the local cinema is opening soon, and she liked the post.

I just don't know. I kinda get the feeling of I got with someone else and she got wind of it, ... Well, I don't think she'd take that well, but then, as I've said before, it's not fair her getting with other guys.

Whatever she does I think you should take it slow. If there are problems now, proposing marriage won't solve those problems. You have to solve your problems one at a time instead of all at once, or throwing something on them thinking you'll make it better.

My opinion is figure out your expectations for you in a relationship and stick to them. That is easier said than done though! Also I don't think it's a good idea to interact too much on social media.

Well she updated her status last night, she tagged her and this guy as in a relationship together.

I could destroy it, I could send him a screenshots of what she had said to me in the past week, things like marry me, I can't wait to see you but what's the point.

To go from leaving me one night to Facebook official a few days later is pathetic.

I reckon she's gone for good now though, probably time to give up and move on.

I believe he has a kid, it's what she always wanted to be complete.

So she came round the other day, to "collect some things", bare in mind, like 90% of her stuffs still here, and she walked in on me in the shower, even though my flatmate told her I was in there, I was obviously butt naked, but gave her a hug, and a slight kiss anyway, but why would she do that if her new relationship is so great ?

She also sent me a message today saying why is she never good enough ?

if she recently overdosed, and shes still struggling, she has bigger problems than the relationship. she just does.

this isnt a person you can count on for your stability, her stability, or relationship stability, at this time.

if the two of you have had multiple make up/breakup cycles, this has contributed to the instability.

and finally, if in fact she has entered another relationship...this is, ultimately, something youre just going to need to give a lot of space to.

shes not in a place to commit to her, and at the end of the day, im not sure either of you are in a place to reconcile and improve your relationship. youre experiencing a lot of anxiety that is pressing you to push when you need to pull back.

none of that is to say theres nothing you can do. it just, for the time being, means, that pulling away, getting stronger, and having a better understanding of what led the two of you to break up will have a better effect than reaching out to her or pushing will.